Page 94 of Lotus

I love watermelon.

I love her.

“I have a secret, but I’m scared to tell you.”

“You can tell it to my teddy bear. She’s very good at keeping secrets.”

“Okay. You promise?”

“Promise. Pinky-swear, even.”

Our pinkies connect, her smile bright like the little flecks of light in her eyes. I bring the teddy bear close to my lips and whisper, “He saw me. He saw me. He saw me.”

The Faceless Man.

I shoot upright into a sitting position, clutching my head with both palms.

“It’s okay, Oliver, it’s okay. Take a deep breath,” the doctor tells me, leaning forward with an outstretched hand. “Everything you just experienced is now available to you. You can retrieve this information at any time. It’s a part of you now, and it always has been.”

“I can’t,” I choke out, throwing my legs over the side of the sofa. “I… I must go now.”

“Oliver, I promise you’re okay,” she insists gently. “If you need to stop, that is perfectly fine. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. Just know this is a safe place.”

My body feels flush, my limbs tremoring. I glance at her before I reach for my jacket and make a clumsy escape to the exit door. “I don’t think it is.”

I’m looking through hundreds and hundreds of old comic book drawings from my years in captivity, my imagination my only companion, when Gabe pokes his head into the room. His eyes find me sitting on the floor, back pressed up to the foot of the bed.

“Hey, man. How did your appointment go today? Any breakthroughs?” he wonders with interest, hands set loosely on his hips.

My gaze lifts as I set the enormous stack of comics beside me on the carpet. “It was fairly intense. I’m not certain I want to remember everything,” I admit, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. I’ve been consumed with nerves and trepidation since I returned home a short while ago. “Gabe, do you recall anything harrowing occurring when we were children? An unsavory man lurking around the neighborhood, perhaps?”

A frown appears. “Shit, not that I remember. We had a good childhood.”

My sigh meets his look of worry.

“What happened? Was it Bradford?” Gabe takes a few careful paces into the room, concern creasing the corners of his eyes. “You think he was stalking you before the abduction?”

“It’s possible.”

“The police seemed to think it was random andnotpremeditated. They couldn’t link that fucker to you or your family in any way, shape, or form—there were zero connections.”

“Yes, I know. They concluded that he spotted me at the park that evening and I reminded him of his deceased son, so he acted recklessly,” I concur, recalling their statement with perfect clarity as my eyes avert to the wall across from me.

“But you’re not so sure now…”

“I’m not sure of anything, I suppose. My mind is a maze.”

And that is the sad truth. My hypnotherapy produced more questions than answers, leaving me frazzled and uncertain of anything. Some things are better left untouched, untampered with.

“Damn, Oliver. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, having those memories trapped in there like that. Maybe a few more sessions will help pull more things to the surface,” Gabe suggests, scratching at his overgrown hair while he fidgets a few feet away.

He’s uncomfortable with genuine emotion, much like Sydney. But he tries with me, and I appreciate that. “Perhaps. I’m not entirely sure I want to revisit it, though.”

He nods. “Understood. What we don’t know, can’t hurt us, right?”

“Indeed.”

Another beat passes before Gabe clears his throat. “So, uh, Pops is stopping by for dinner tonight. You cool with that?”

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