Page 61 of Still Beating

And then we’re left staring at each other from across the hall, both of our chests heaving, our eyes locked and loaded, the words on the tips of our tongues. But Cora walks away, pushing out through those same doors and disappearing into the night.

I follow her.

“Cora,” I call out, watching as she makes a quick escape to her car, hitting the unlock button multiple times until her headlights blink to life.

“Leave me alone.”

I catch up to her and slide into the passenger’s seat as she enters the driver’s side. “I’m sorry.”

She doesn’t look at me. “Get out of my car, Dean.”

Cora turns on the ignition, mascara streaks etched across both cheeks, and even though my head is starting to feel loopy from the beer, I realize I fucked up. Big time. I made her question her worthandI sabotaged her date.

And for what?

Why?

“Corabelle, please. Talk to me.”

Her shoulders are trembling as she plants both hands on the steering wheel, squeezing until her knuckles go white. More tears spill from her eyes. “Fine.” She sniffles, looking up at me with eyes made of emerald flames. “We’re done. Whatever this is, whatever is between us—it’s done. Over. I thought I needed you to heal, but this is toxic… all you’re doing is holding me underwater and I can’t breathe. I can’t heal when I’m constantly reminded of my trauma every time I look at you.” Cora inhales sharp, ragged breaths as she finishes. “I thought you could fix me. But you’re killing me, Dean.”

I’m stunned into silence, my heart shattering into a thousand fucking pieces. All I can do is gawk at her, and I know she doesn’t want this, Iknowshe’s just upset and pissed and confused. I find myself feeling entirely vulnerable and at a loss for words. I glance down at the center console, swallowing my pride. “I don’t know how to get through this without you.”

“You need to try. We’re not in that basement anymore. We’re on our own now.”

“No, Cora, wearestill in that basement—we never got out. And we’ll stay down there, trapped, chained to steel pipes, drowning in darkness, until we can fix our shit.Together.”

“No!” Cora slaps one hand against the wheel, releasing a gasping sob. “No…nottogether. I can’t be calling you in the middle of the night to come over, we can’t be sharing a bed, we can’t be talking on the phone every night until we fall asleep.” She shakes her head furiously. Adamantly. “I can’t let you hold me and touch me and look at me the way you do. It’s not fair to Mandy. I feel like my soul isrotting.”

“We haven’t done anything wrong,” I insist, trying to get through to her.

“We’ve doneeverythingwrong.”

I gaze at her through the dim-lit car, her tears illuminated by the dashboard. She looks worn down, defeated, and lost. All I’ve tried to do is build her up, put her pieces back together, and quiet the ghosts that haunt her day in and day out.

I had no ideaIwas the reason for the look in her eyes right now.

It guts me.

I glance down at the chain around her neck, the heart locket hidden beneath her red camisole. Her top matches the color of her mouth, even though her lipstick is smudged from the tears still raining down her cheeks. While staring at her lips, I’m reminded of the last time I was pressed against them and how warm and soft they felt—something good and pure poking through the ugliness. I find her eyes and ask, “What happened between us that last day?”

I finally said it. I brought life to the single most confusing moment of my existence, and up until now, up until this very second, I could still pretend it was a dream. A mirage. Maybe a fucked up fantasy. It wasn’treal—as long as we never acknowledged it, it never happened.

But it’s real now. And it’s hovering between us, thick and potent, tearing away our armor and walls and carefully assembled layers.

Cora’s breath hitches as she locks her eyes on mine, blinking back more tears. “I wasn’t myself—I zoned out and my body was confused. It didn’t mean anything.”

I frown, taken aback by her words.Bullshit. “You’re lying. You weretherewith me, one hundred percent. I saw it in your eyes.”

“No.”

“Yes, Cora.”

“No,” she grits out, her chin quivering. “Please go.”

I lean forward until our faces are only inches apart and I can smell the flowers in her hair. I clench my jaw and say in a low, low voice, “You can lie to yourself all you want, but I was there. Iknowyou felt it. And I’m not saying I understand it, or can explain it, or know what the fuck to do about it, but it wassomething, Corabelle.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, her breathing uneven and her body still shivering, but not from the cold—no, not from the cold. Cora leans into me, her eyes dancing to my mouth for a fleeting moment, then right back up again. She sucks in a breath. “Don’t call me that.” Her voice is deadly calm and full of icy warning. She falls back against the seat, still cutting me with her sharp gaze. “Now… get out of my car.”

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