Page 6 of Coming Home for Love

“Nah, not really. You wanna hit this?”

I turned toward her, holding the blunt out, and she took it.

Shannon and I graduated from the same culinary school, but we didn’t take things further until a year ago. We’d see each other around town and shit like that, but one night, she was in the bar crying her eyes out over some dude, so we shared a few drinks, and by the end of the night, I took her down in the alleyway by the bar. It wasn’t ideal, but the liquor in my system told me otherwise. It wasn’t me that initiated it either. I was just trying to walk her to her car when she pushed me against the wall and got on her knees, and I let her. I had a hard time cumming from head, but I was at the point of no return. Luckily, I always had a condom on me because there was no way I was running up in her naked. I didn’t know her that well, and I didn’tmake a habit of unprotected sex. I wasn’t trying to catch shit or have any unwanted kids.

I took a few pulls of the blunt when Shannon passed it back.

“It’s been a year, Osiris. What are we doing?”

I choked on the smoke. “What do you mean? We’re kicking it.”

“That’s all this is to you? I thought we would have solidified things by now.”

A few months ago, I might have given her what she wanted, but something in my gut was telling me not to. I couldn’t figure out what it was though. I liked her, and we had good chemistry, but lately, I’d been feeling like something was missing, and I didn’t think I would find it with her.

I was twenty-six and ready to settle down, but I didn’t see that being with Shannon. I didn’t think we had the same family values. I wanted kids, but she said she wasn’t ready for them. She wanted to stay in Paris forever, but that wasn’t in my plans. My family was in the States, and I was missing out on seeing my nephews growing up since I was so far away.

After graduation, I decided to stay in Paris for a bit because I enjoyed it, but I knew it wasn’t my forever home. That was why I settled on a one-bedroom apartment that I rented for a year at a time. I wasn’t sure when I would go back home for good, but I knew at some point, I would.

I pulled on the blunt again before turning to face Shannon. I passed it to her and watched as she inhaled. She was pretty as hell with full lips that I loved to see wrapped around my dick. Light brown eyes, and caramel skin. She was thick, too, just like I liked them, but she wasn’t my one. Besides us wanting different things in life, there was still something I couldn’t quite put my finger on that wouldn’t allow me to go further with her. Sometimes, she seemed a little off.

“I ain’t gonna hold you. I fucks with you heavy, but that’s it. I’m not trying to downplay what we have, but I know shit with us ain’t going to work out.”

She pulled the sheet over her naked body. “How do you know that, though?”

“Do you want children?”

She looked away for a second, then back at me. “I’m open to it.”

That was a lie, and we both knew that.

“When did that change?”

She dropped her head and played with the sheet. I already knew she was about to lie again because she could never look me in the eyes when she lied.

“The last month or so.”

“So let’s have a baby now then.” I wasn’t for real, but I just wanted to see what she would say.

“Um…”

I knew she wasn’t going to agree to that, and I was glad she didn’t call my bluff, because I couldn’t see myself having a kid with her.

“I’m just fucking with you. I wanted to see what you were going to say.”

I witnessed the moment she let out a relieved breath.

“I’m not opposed to it anymore, though.”

“Okay, Shannon. On some real shit, I’m having fun with you, and I don’t want to fuck up what we have by putting labels on it.”

That was the easiest way to let her down without hurting her feelings because that wasn’t what I was trying to do. I really did like her.

“Okay, Osiris. I guess I have to be okay with being your fuck buddy until you get tired of me.”

The sadness in her eyes made me feel bad, but not enough to make things more than what they were.

“Don’t sell yourself short for me.”

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