Page 27 of All Your Firsts Without Me

I walk with him towards his jeep. “Thank you for your help. I really hope I can do this.”

“You’ll do fine. Like I said, Lucky is lucky to have you.”

“Well, anyhow, I’m sorry I beat you to her. But if you hadn’t been there, I don’t know if I would have gone through with the adoption.”

He gets in, rolling down his window. I stand there awkwardly, before taking a step back so he can pull away. He knocks on the outside of his door. “Um, I don’t want this to sound forward but would you like my number? I mean, you could call if you need help with her.”

“Uh, yeah, yeah. That would be great.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and hold it out to him. He types his number in and hands it back to me.

I know this is the point where I should offer him my number, but it doesn’t feel right. I have his and that seems enough… for now.

“Well, thanks again for supper, April.” He gives me a wave before starting his jeep and driving away.

Quickly, I gather up the dishes and get inside before the sun dips its toes into the water. “Come on, girl.” I pat my leg, urging her to follow me. Lucky stands up, has a little stretch and a big yawn before she’s ready to head inside.

She eats and drinks from her new bowl as I wash the dishes. My mind wanders through the day’s events. It’s been a good day. I grip the sponge in my hand tightly, a surge of sadness overtaking me. And just like that I’m on the floor, crying my eyes out.

Lucky hops over, raising one doggy eyebrow and then the other, questioning my sudden change in mood. She licks my face, and I pull her close. “Oh, Lucky, I’m so glad you’re here. I didn’t realize how much I needed a good friend like you.” I rub my nose back and forth over her soft fur.

“Can I show you something?” I ask her. Her ears perk up and she hops off my lap like she understands. I smile sadly and pull myself up off the ground.

I pull my box of letters out from under my bed and place them carefully on my sunburst comforter. I pick up Lucky and set her on the bed too. It’s too high for her to jump up on. I’ll have to think about that. I want her to be able to sleep with me if she wants.

Lucky does a few twirls on the bed, trying to find just the right spot. When she settles beside me, she lays her head on my leg. She looks up at me, content, yet slightly concerned I might ask her to leave. “You can stay in my bed as long as you want,” I tell her. She lets out a cute little doggy sigh, making me chuckle.

I turn back to my box, gently pulling the lid off. I’ve waited long enough. I need one. Thumbing through them, I laugh at some of the titles. Some of these will never happen, I mean… like look at this one, it reads,Your first dance without me. Like that’s ever going to happen.

Then I see one that says,Your first good day without me.Today was a good day. Well, better. Is it too soon to have one? Lucky nudges my hand, the one with a death grip on the letter.

“Yeah, you’re right. I should read it.” I run my finger under the seal. My mind conjures an image of him licking the envelope with his magical tongue. I feel my cheeks heat, even though no one is around to see.

Little Diamond,

My heart constricts, seeing his nickname for me. I can almost hear him utter the words.

I’m overjoyed you finally had your first good day since I left. Don’t you dare feel guilty about it. That’s life. You will have bad days and you will have good ones. The key is to accept both equally.

Okay, so you had a good day. Now, whatever it was that made the day good, do more of that. You’re going to be okay, April, and today might be the first time you’ve realized it. I’m glad. If this involves a person, a food, an animal, a sunset, a book, whatever it was, give it a kiss for me. Because I love it… them… I love anything that makes you smile. Your smile is one of the great wonders of the world.

I smile and lean over, giving Lucky a kiss on the head. “That’s from David,” I tell her.

Here’s to more good days around the bend.

Love forever and a day,

David

I put the box back under the bed, sliding the one I opened under my pillow.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

April

From that day on, I wake up to puppy kisses and coffee with an extra scoop of sugar. I still hurt but it’s easier getting out of bed now. It helps that someone is depending on me to let them out to potty. I don’t have much choice and I don’t say that as a bad thing. It’s nice having someone need me. Truth is, I need Lucky more than she needs me, but I guess it doesn’t matter who needs who more.

Teresa peeks her head in. “It’s me,” she sing songs. Lucky hops off my lap and runs to greet her.

“Oh, oh, what’s this?” She looks at me, holding her hands high like she thinks Lucky will bite her fingers off.

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