Page 76 of Sugar and Skulls

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The roar of a bike brings me back to the quiet place I’ve been floating in, in the safety of Raffe’s arms. I trace over the tattoos I’ve watched Dan etch into his skin over the years. I don’t move, neither does he. Several minutes later Dirk’s boots crunch along the path, stopping beside us.

He crouches beside me, his big hand running over my hair. “It’s time to go home, sweetheart,” his gravelly voice wakes up that thing deep in my core that rouses every time I find myself caught between these two men.

I lift my head and lean over while still on Raffe’s lap, I grab Dirk’s scruffy face and pull him close. His eyes widen as I place a kiss on his lips. It throws him off for a minute, but he recovers quickly, taking over.

As Dirk kisses me thoroughly Raffe stirs under me. I pull away and turn to him, offering him a taste of the heat left behind from Dirk’s lips. Raffe moans deep as we connect. Dirk doesn’t abandon me. My hair is quickly wrapped around his fist, his lips grazing the back of my neck as soon as it’ s exposed to him.

Something inside me swells with an unbearable heat. I want to feel my skin on their skin. I want to feel my heart sync with theirs. I want to taste them. I want them to taste me. I can’t get enough. I need more. More. More.

As soon as it starts it ends. Dirk stands, taking a step away. Raffe gently scoots me off his lap. What is happening? Why did they stop? I want more of them.

“This can’t happen right now,” Raffe tells me as he gathers up the picnic we never finished.

“Why not?” I hustle to my feet, suddenly feeling very insecure.

My eyes dart around, an overwhelming urge to flee comes over me. Dirk grabs my arm and pulls me close to him. “Don’t even think about it.”

“I don’t understand…” I shake my head, trying to focus on what the fuck is actually going on.

Dirk grabs my chin forcing me to look at him. “I want you, Raffe wants you and from what I can tell you want us both.” I try to turn away, but his grip only tightens. “The fact you don’t understand is exactly why we are stopping.”

“It’s…it’s wrong I want you both?” I ask awkwardly. What am I asking? Of course, it’s wrong. Of course, it is.

He shakes his head. “No. It’s not wrong but I don’t think you are ready for one of us let alone the two of us together.”

Raffe stands beside Dirk. “It would be easy for us to take advantage of you right now. We aren’t going to do that.”

“What about what I want?”

Dirk smirks, his scary as fuck eyebrow cocks in amusement. “Well, Jesse, you can have whatever you want when you turn eighteen.”

I squint at him. Defiance bubbling through my veins. “Oh, I see what this is. Poor little Jesse all abused and shit. She’s so wounded she can’t be trusted with her own desires. Too young to take care of herself. Too young to understand the big bad world. Too young to know what she wants.” I shove away from them both.

“Jesse, come on. We don’t think that. But, you are seventeen and we are considerably older. We have to think about what this might look like to others. What about Bill?”

Laughing I grab my stomach with exaggerated amusement. When I right myself, wiping at my eyes, I pointedly declare war. “Good luck keeping up your act of nobility.”

They glance nervously at each other. “What the hell does that mean?” Raffe asks.

I start up the path letting my words trail behind me. “You boys haven’t met Sugar yet, but you are about to.”

When I hear Dirk pick up his pace behind me, I run. He is angry. I run all the way up the stairs, only to realize that there is no door on his bedroom because it’s a loft. Fuck. I back up as he walks towards me.

“There is no Sugar,” he warns with a look of determination on his face.

I want to defy him.

I want to spit in his face.

I want to kiss him.

I want him to hold me.

Oh.

Oh.

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