Page 70 of Sugar and Skulls

I’m engrossed in my studies when Dan sits down beside me, draping his arm along the back of the couch behind my head. “You’re handling this way better than I thought,” he smirks before bringing his beer bottle to his mouth.

I tap my pencil on my chin. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I have a choice in the matter?”

He laughs and runs his hand over his eyes. “I’m going to miss your smart mouth.”

“Bill says you are setting me up at the warehouse so I can tattoo there,” I whisper, biting my lip to keep from crying…again.

“I’ll set it up just like at the shop, so you know where to find everything.” He looks away from me.

I close my laptop, setting it on the table. “Dan, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want to tattoo there. It won’t be the same,” I curl myself up into a small ball and snuggle into his side. He drops his arm around my shoulder pulling me in closer. “I don’t want to do it without you.”

“Awe, Jesse. Jesse, Jesse, Jesse,” he sighs.

And now I’m fucking crying again.

I hear the door slide open, the rest of the guys are coming in. Quickly I pull my shirt up over my face trying to wipe the evidence of my weakness off my face.

Dan tugs it back down over my stomach. “Stop, you can let people see you’re fucking human, Jesse.”

I hide my face in his shirt instead. He chuckles making his big body shake. “Always got to be difficult.”

My dad sits on the coffee table in front of us. I peek at him from behind my hands. “Dan and I need to get going. We’ll see you soon, no need for tears.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not giving up your entire life,” I snip.

“He did once,” Dan says, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him. “He gave up his entire life for you.”

“Dan it’s fine,” my dad waves his hand in the air like he can wave away all the bad mojo from the past.

“No, she needs to hear this.”

I sit up straight. My eyes briefly flitting over Dirk and Raffe before landing back on my dad.

“I was in prison for killing a man. He was president of the Devils at the time.”

Slowly I uncurl myself.

“He had always been in love with your mom. She didn’t love him back, but she did love his drugs. He was very jealous when your mom and I hooked up. Shortly after you were born he gave your mom some bad shit…it killed her.” He pauses, his gaze drifting past my shoulder as he remembers that day. “He was arrested but the charges were dropped. I’m sure he rolled on someone. Anyhow, as I was getting on my bike to leave the courthouse he pulled up beside me. He said he was coming for you next. He laughed and said he would wait a few years…until you were old enough to enjoy…” he struggles to get the rest of the story out. He takes a deep breath and sits up tall. “Until you were old enough to enjoy him and his drugs.”

I look down at my chest. Where’s the blood. I pat around sure that there is a hole somewhere. Dan touches my elbow lightly drawing my attention away from the pain piercing through my heart. “You’re not to blame,” he says quietly.

“What was his name?” I ask. I’m not sure why I need to hear who is to blame for both of my parents being torn away from me because the man is dead but for some reason it seems relevant.

Dirk’s voice growls from across the room. “She’s not ready.”

My dad turns away from me to face him. They stare at each for a fat minute before my dad turns back. “Another time. It’s getting late.” He stands pulling me with him. Quickly he presses his lips to my forehead. “I love you, baby girl.” Then he’s gone.

Dan hands me my backpack. “I refreshed your paint supply in case this place gives you some inspiration.” He gives me a hug and then he follows behind my dad.

I stand in the middle of the room with a gaping hole in my heart, unable to speak, unable to breathe.

Dropping the backpack, I trail after them. I follow the red lights of their bikes, eating the dust that follows them until I fall to the ground exhausted.

I barely notice when strong arms pick me up and carry me inside.

My thoughts are bouncing from one thing to the next.

No wonder my dad let Dirk and Raffe take me. My mother died from drugs…from the Devil’s drugs. Well I guess all drugs are considered evil and therefore the Devil’s drugs, but you know what I mean.

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