Page 69 of Sugar and Skulls

I rest my chin on my knees, shutting my mouth. The scowl creeping back on my face.

“I’m so proud of you, Jesse. You did survive. You fought your battles with the bravery of a true Rebel Skull. You may not have known you were one of us, but your heart did.”

My cheeks heat not from his compliment but from my own thoughts. I’ve always wanted to be one of them since the day I met the scary man with pictures on his skin. The same day my heart melted for mood ring eyes. I didn’t know he belonged to a biker gang then, but I wanted to be a part of his world, whatever that was. Then I met Raffe. I’ve watched his beautiful body slip in and out of his Rebel Skull jacket since I was fourteen years old. My pulse spiking at every smile, wink, and kick start of his bike.

“So, why are you taking everything away from me? Why are you punishing me?” I try to push myself up off the ground, he pulls my hand out from under me, making me totter back on my behind.

“That’s not fair, Jesse. I’m not trying to punish you. I think you’ve been punished enough for one lifetime.”

I close my eyes, blocking out the beautiful sky as dusk settles over the mountain. “I want to go back to Trap.”

“It’s just not happening, Jesse.”

I open my eyes slowly, silently begging, pleading with every drop of my soul. “Dad, please.”

He shakes his head. “This is the only way, baby girl.”

I tuck my face and hug my knees tight, curling up into a tiny ball. His hand rests on the small of my back.

“You’re selling drugs, Jess. I’m not judging you, but I can’t let that continue.”

When I don’t say anything, he lifts himself up from the hard ground.

Suddenly, my anger spikes. I jump to my feet. “You are judging me. I can hear it in your tone.” I step away from him. “You’re a fucking hypocrite. You were in prison for how many years?” Tossing my hands in the air I storm up the path.

His boots thump, following closely behind me. He grabs my arm spinning me to face him.

“Jesse. I’m trying to be a good father for once in my pathetic life.”

I cross my arms over my chest as he pulls me close to him.

“God, Jess, I only want to see you smile. I don’t want to make you angry, but I’ve got to give you some tough love here.”

He holds me tight. I swallow big gulps of air trying to shove the new feelings I’m having down. With a last-ditch effort to hang on to my past, to go back to the only life I’ve ever known, I beg pitifully…tears, snot, and all. “Dad, please. I can’t just stop. My guys are going to wonder where I am. The people I help in Trap need me. Old man Tom, Jimmy…”

He growls and tightens his hold on me. His mouth lowers to my ear. “Stop. It’s over, Jess. I’m taking care of everything. You are going to stay here and learn how to breathe again. When we think you’re ready, you’ll come home. Get right with this so you can get back to me.” He tugs me in hard. “You belong with me. I don’t give two craps about anyone in Trap county.”

I cry harder, my anger turning to shame. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I…I don’t know what I was thinking when I started selling. Part of me wanted to get even with Jimmy for taking the door off my room and part of me wanted to help people. I didn’t spend the money on myself I promise. I gave it back to the people….” I stop, unable to go on I’m crying so hard.

“It’s okay, baby girl,” he shushes, rocking me in his arms. “You’re looking at this like it’s a bad thing. Getting away from that godforsaken hell hole is not a bad thing, Jesse. It’s a fresh start for you…for me.”

He holds my arms, pushing me back so he can see my face. He wipes my tears and snot away with his bare hands brushing them off on his jeans. I give him a small cockeyed grin. Only a parent would willing stick their hand in snot.

“So, what do you say? You ready go back? Dan and I brought pizza.” He bites his lip, trying to sweet talk me back inside.

I shake my head yes, earning me a handsome smile. He takes my hand and steers us back up the path. I glance over my shoulder as the last bit of light is chased out by the night. For the first time in my entire life I feel like I belong. My dad is holding my hand, watching my back, and guarding my heart. He smiles down at me as we walk.

Good news, it’s getting easier and easier to smile back.

Bad news, an ominous black crow shrieks at us from a nearby bush. A sign that bad things are still coming for me.

Chapter Thirty

Jesse

???

The rest of the evening goes smoothly. The guys are out on the deck having few beers while I sit on the couch clicking away on the computer. I run through my new “online” classes. Sighing I resign myself to the fact that this is how I’m finishing out my senior year. It’s fine. I didn’t have any friends in school anyway. They either thought I was a stuck-up nerd, or they were afraid of me. My counselor was right. I had enough credits to graduate last year but why? I like learning new things.

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