Page 8 of Restrictions

Although, I’m grateful because after unpacking all day, I’m beat.

The house is great, but it’s too much. Not that my father would listen to me. He just kept telling me that if I was going to move out, I needed to let him provide a proper home for Sebastian and me.

This is way beyond proper, but I have never been able to stand up to my parents, especially after I became pregnant with Baz. Their disappointment is forever burned into my DNA.

I let them down, and they make sure I know it every time we talk. Now I’m living in their home without them.

Small victories. Although I’m still under their oppressive thumb.

We sit at the dining room table that my parents paid for, and I try to look around and find something they haven’t provided. I would love to take care of Sebastian in every sense by myself, but I’m unsure how to do that.

For now, I’m indebted to my parents, but I hope to pay them back some day.

“Yummy, yummy pizza!” Baz bites into his pizza, managing to get some of it into his face, but most of it ends up smeared all over his mouth and hands.

“Don’t get too used to it.”

Asher folds the pizza and stuffs a massive bite into his mouth. “You gotta loosen up, Viv.”

I roll my eyes at Asher’s nonchalance and nibble my own piece of pizza. “I’m not wound up as tight as you think. I just want him to eat healthy.”

“Should have gotten taco pizza because, you know,” I watch Asher shrug his impressively large shoulders, “they put lettuce on that.”

I can’t fight my laugh even though I don’t want to encourage him and shake my head as Sebastian giggles loudly. “Lettuce on pizza?”

“Yup. They put all kinds of weird sh—” He quickly catches himself. “Stuff on pizza.”

“That’s crazy.” Sebastian slaps his little knee and laughs again as he takes another bite.

I should have stripped him before dinner because the grease and tomato sauce stains are never coming out of his clothes, but he’s definitely happy.

“So where is little man going when we’re in class?”

I hand Baz a napkin and then look at Asher. “I found a great babysitter near campus. She has a high rating and is CPR certified, but I’ve scheduled all my classes on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays so I’ll be home Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“Cool.”

He’s so laid back. It’s like nothing bothers him.

I’m extremely nervous to leave Sebastian with a stranger, but I keep telling myself that it’s what’s best for us both. I’m graduating this year, and he’ll start school the following year. I’m going to have to get used to it sooner or later.

“I have Fridays off so really you just need Mondays and Wednesdays covered.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

He stares at me like I’m nuts. “Why do you think I’m here?”

I told myself that we were helping each other out, but he hascompletely shattered that. He moved in only to help me. “Asher, we aren’t your responsibility.”

His eyes slide to my son and then back to me. “I never said you were, but I’m living here. I’m going to help. You just need to let me.”

“Yeah, Mommy.”

We both look at Sebastian, who is covered in pizza sauce, and then I turn back to Asher. “Okay if you can, great. But you don’t have to.”

I don’t want anyone feeling obligated to me. He isn’t the one I got pregnant with, but he is the one who stepped up.

I know Colt would have too, and I think Asher feels saddled with the responsibility left behind by the brother he loved dearly.

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