Page 53 of No Longer Safe

I’d wanted to stay away when she was doing her propersend-off.In fact, I’d almost stayed away. But I knew my brothers werechicken shit and I knew that when the time came for her to break down and fall apart they would stare at her like a science experiment gone wrong. So, in the self-destructive manner that I often explored, I watched her from the shadows. I didn’t give two fucks about the ring or that it was fake but I saw the way her face dropped when Ivan said it without a care. My heart went with it. Every logical thought, every self-preserving act went out the window. Nothing else mattered besides picking her up off of the grass and taking care of her. It was a drive. Aneedthat I just couldn’t shake. If I kept on like this, I knew without a doubt that she would ruin my life.

Now that I’d had her in my arms and her scent wrapped around me I was a mess. It was like cinnamon sugar, sweet and deep. I craved it. I craved the feeling of her in my arms again, the feeling of her soft skin against mine and it was driving me insane. I pressed my forehead against the cold glass and thanked whatever was out there for her to be gone from the downstairs chaos or I would have marched down the stairs and do the unthinkable.

With a growl, I shoved away from the window and marched across my room. I could hear her in the hallway laughing at something with Carina. I closed my eyes. I wanted her to laugh like that with me. This was insanity. I pulled my fingers down my face in frustration. What was I to do? How could I possibly stay away any longer?

My keys clanked together as I grabbed them off of the little table by the door in my room. I didn’t usually drive myself, especially not home, but this time there was an exception. I couldn’t ask Jordan, our driver, to leave right now; he’d just gotten back from taking a few women to the airport. He’d been here, there, and everywhere before noon. He was probably exhausted and as much as we paid him to do this, my fatherwouldn’t have a single issue with having him leave again, but I wasn’t my father and I never would be.

The door slammed behind me and I jogged down the hallway to the stairs. I was too afraid seeing her would make me stop and I couldn’t get stuck here another moment with her. Nothing was holding me back now and I didn’t want to be used by her to get over Brian.

Let some other fucker be that.

The thought stopped me in my tracks. My fist tightened around the keys and I almost turned around, I nearly went back. Even though I hated the thought of someone else touching her, I couldn’t do anything to prevent it. I hated it. I seethed as I left the house. I cursed as I drove away from the estate. But I didn’t look back.

My family owned manyestablishments.High-end and low-end. My father didn’t care as long as there was money flowing, as long as he never had to worry about his great, great, great, great, great-grandchildren. He loved to throw that one around, that he was working for all his generations to come, but I knew better. He was working for what it said about him. He was working for the largest number in his bank account. He was in a competition. I couldn’t tell you if it was with himself, his brothers—who didn’t have the money he did—or the other wealthy men in the world. I also didn’t exactly care either. I’d cared a lot as a child when I was sent off to boarding school after boarding school and other children’s fathers showed up to throw a ball or to sit around with them and talk. My father never showed his face, claiming he was too busy to take time off for us— for me. I’d learned to hate him and all the money when I was really little. I vowed to myself at an early age that I would depend on no one, especially him.

I opened my first strip club at the age of 19. It was self-made, self-bought, and my father had no idea about it. He also didn’t know about the illegal activities I’d done in boarding school in order to secure the funds to be able to do that for myself. It didn’t matter, I’d watched many illegal activities done by my father since I was born. There were hits put out on politicians, police, and anyone that got in his way. A permit wasn’t passed for one of his corporate offices? Hit. Someone made a snide comment to him about his money or lack-of or whatever? Hit. He showed us that ruthless power was what ran the world and until we accepted that and implemented it, we would be nothing.

Being ruthless came easy when you were raised by a heartless devil that knew no love. Ruthlessness served me when I opened my tenth strip club and moved on to casinos. It served me well as I climbed a different kind of corporate ladder. I allowed my parents to believe I still needed them, I allowed them to think I was penniless unless I had them. All the money my father paid me went into an account that went into investments of different kinds. I funded my own dreams, I funded my own life.

Little did daddy dearest know that he taught it all to me himself. If he hadn’t shown me the family business of lower end establishments growing up, I would have never seen a window into what I could build for myself. He sneered and looked down on such activitiesnow, but I remember many nights of his own busted knuckles, gunshots, and various other nefarious activities. I learned from the best and there was a love-hate relationship to it.

I’d driven entirely too far and entirely too long to care to go to a strip club now, but I was thrumming with a need I’d never experienced before. I felt like I was going to explode. I adjusted myself in my pants as I thought ofAudreyagain. There was no relief when it came to her. There was nothing I could do formyself. Not a single damn thing especially since I knew she was on the other side of the wall we shared.

The parking garage next to my club was dark and private. It was only for my higher-end clients. It was silent as I parked my blacked-out Bentley. I’d made sure that the music pumping through the speakers in my building couldn’t be heard anywhere but the club. I’d gone through great lengths to make sure it was as discreet as possible. If not, I wouldn’t have a certain balding politician stumbling to his own vehicle at this hour. I tipped my head to him and hurried through the dark doors.

One of my bouncers opened the other set of doors for me once the first ones were closed tight. He had on a headset and was listening to someone talk on the other end as he led me inside. This wasn’t my usual stop, but it was the closest. It was also the best. I knew the girls and I knew they were taken care of. They were also tight-lipped and wouldn’t talk about anything that happened within these walls.

The other strip club I’d gone to before I met Audrey the first time released pictures to the press a few days after I was there. Unfortunately, and fortunately, it was Dimitri’s hell hole and he’d handled it swiftly and efficiently. Which probably meant that the man responsible was six feet—or lower—in the ground somewhere. It also meant as much as my brothers wanted to do what I was doing, they would never amount to the success I found on my own. Dimitri was too dirty, too reckless, and too in love with one of his girls. It meant I could no longer trust to support my brothers in their endeavors, even if they did take care of their issues with swiftness. It wasn’t enough.

I sat in one of my velvet booths and watched one of my favorite girls run a set. The music pounded through the speakers at a volume that made it impossible to hear yourself think. It made it impossible for conversations to be had or evenoverheard. Anything going on in the back? You wouldn’t be the wiser. It protectedmeand my patrons.

Alice’s burgundy hair fanned out around her as she spun in a circle. Her small breasts didn’t bounce as she moved but her large ass did. It was my favorite thing about her. Her heels were silver glitter today and something about them made me cringe. She winked at me from the dim stage and I nodded once. She had another minute to her set and lots of bills to collect. She knew where to meet me. I stood from the booth slowly, careful to keep my head down, and my eyes averted from the people inmyplace. It didn’t do good to see the big wigs that came through here. It would do nothing but put a target on my back, even if that was the last thing they did. I didn’t need the unwanted attention, especially since I wasn’t here on business.

Much to my surprise, Alice was waiting for me already when I made it to my private room. She sat on the large couch, shoved against the dark red walls. Her thin body was covered by a black silk robe and she’d ditched the stilettos for a pair of feather heels. Her hair was fanned out over both of her shoulders and her smile was a little too happy to see me.

We didn’t talk, it was one of my rules. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say and I didn’t like small talk. I didn’t know if I could even stand dirty talk. All I knew was that I didn’t want it from them. She cocked her head to the side slightly before she got up from the leather couch and slowly sauntered her way to me. She sank to her knees just as slowly and before when we’d done this dance, it was torture.

For whatever reason, it was annoying me now. I grasped the back of her head and she went to unzip my fitted dress pants. I blinked up at the black ceiling. I’d been ready to burst when I got out of my car in the parking garage. I’d been ready to tear anyone off of the stage and pound into them until I couldn’t feel anything anymore. But as Alice ran her hands up my coveredthighs, I felt nothing. I squeezed my eyes closed and she grabbed one of my hands. She led my pointer finger into her warm mouth and began sucking on it.

I felt nothing. The raging hard-on that was tucked in my pants had fully deflated to nothing. I gazed down at the woman trying her hardest to take care of my desires. Her brows tented in the center of her forehead. “Is everything okay?”

I’d never had problems getting it up before, but here I was dealing with a case of ED. I swallowed hard and pulled my hands from her face. What the hell was wrong with me?

Alice placed her palms on my chest and marched me to the couch. She pushed me back and I spread my knees as she climbed into my lap. She peppered kisses up the side of my neck while she rubbed her bare pussy against my pants. Her little moans were enough to make me want to push her off of my lap—off of the couch and flee this place. But I came here for a reason and I wasn’t going to leave until I got rid of all of this sexual frustration.

No matter what Alice did, I couldn’t get there. It only happened slightly when I closed my eyes and Audrey was there. With a growl, I got up from the couch and left Alice on her knees in the back room of my strip club. I was thrumming with a different kind of need as I sped away from the place and wove in and out of traffic.

Damned Audrey. I was the best at compartmentalizing, but apparently no longer. Not when it came to her. The raging hard-on was back when I thought of her more in the comfort of my own vehicle and then even more so when I finally got to my home on the other side of New York City.

The doorman knew better than to talk to me when I looked like I was ready to murder anyone who stepped in my path. He’d made the mistake once. Instead, he tipped his flattop hat and hit the button to my penthouse on the elevator.

Breathing exercises were the only thing that got me to the top of the building without planting my fist through the elevator door—or at least trying to.

I made quick work of unlocking the door at the end of the hallway before slamming it closed behind me. Cassie, the cleaner, had been here today. It smelled like chemicals and a candle that she liked to bring with her. When I’d first hired her, I told her no candles. I couldn’t do with the girly shit in my home, but now when she left, I found that I appreciated it more. It made this sterile box seem more like a home. The white leather couch was a bright contrast to the dark oak floors. The white cabinets were even more a contrast on the other side of the room with the bright white marble countertops. It was pretty and spotless, but it didn’t feel lived in.

Who was I kidding? I raked my fingers through my hair and made it stand up even more so on my head. This place had never been a home and I doubted it would ever be one. I loved to hate it, much like my father.

I toed my dress shoes off and kicked them into the corner before I began unbuttoning my shirt. Usually, I was more controlled than this. Usually, I could wait until I made into my bedroom, but I no longer cared. It seemed my body was vibrating on another frequency, which made me sloppy.

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