Page 54 of No Longer Safe

I yanked the shirt off of my arms and buttons pinged across the floor. I huffed out a breath. Apparently, I was being so sloppy I didn’t realize I hadn’t unbuttoned my shirt all of the way. I kicked the material as far as it would go and trudged across the small space to the bar. I didn’t care what it was, I picked up the first bottle, wrapped my teeth around the cork, and spit it out somewhere, I didn’t care. The first gulp was heaven. The burn was everything I needed.

With the bottle of alcohol in hand, I somehow made it down the hall to my bedroom. I ripped my pants off in the samemanner that my shirt met its demise and hit a few buttons on the wall for the shower. Steam immediately filled the room. I took another gulp and placed the bottle on the counter by my sink. I hardly made it to the hot spray of the shower before I had my cock in my hand.

Thoughts of Audrey drove me right into oblivion. The thought of her with her head tilted back, mid-laugh did something to me. It was the thought that pushed me over the edge and had me spraying cum right down the drain. It hadn’t taken long at all with the thoughts of her running rampant in my mind.

What was I? A teenager? I could hardly believe my actions as I stared at the water leaving the shower. What was wrong with me? Since when could Alice not get me off? Since when did she not at least get me hard? She wasn’t one to turn me off. Even as I had rubbed her thick, round ass, it hadn’t done anything for me.

I was sick.

That had to be it.

Maybe I needed to go to a clinic.

My phone rang and I put it on speaker as I toweled off and my thoughts spun about whatever could be plaguing me. Cancer? Oh God. What if it was testicular cancer and that was why I couldn’t get hard with Alice? Would that kill me? Was this a terminal condition? It obviously was. What else would kill a man faster than not being able to get hard when you were twenty-five years old?

“What?” I barked into the phone. I hadn’t even checked to see who it was before I hit the green button.

“Testy,” Ace chuckled into the phone. It was the wrong choice of words and my brother had no idea. I was freaking out inside. I was going to die, I was sure of it. “I didn’t realize you left. What had you in such a hurry?”

“Do you know what time it is?” I didn’t even know what time it was.

“Yes, it’s four A.M. but I don’t know why that matters seeing as you answered the phone. Are you going to answer my question or dance around the topic for hours?”

“I think I’m dying,” I whispered, even though I was alone in my penthouse. The words still seemed to echo around the space. That was what I got for living in such a sterile space.

“Why would you think that? You weren’t shot? What’s going on, Alexei?.” I heard a jingle of keys on his end. “I’m on my way home. Let me know where you are!”

“I’m at home and no, I mean—” I cut myself off. I didn’t know how to even begin. “I think I have some terminal disease.”

My brother groaned into the phone. “Terminal disease? You’ve got to be kidding me. Why would you think such a thing? Ya know what? Don’t answer that. Get off of Google. No more researching symptoms, Alexei.”

“I haven’t done that yet.”

“Then what the fuck is going on?”

“I,” I took a deep breath and whispered again, “I can’t get it up."

When he started laughing I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. “Is that it?”

“I mean I can, but I can’t.”

“Explain,” Ace commanded.

“You aren’t going to like this and I know you told me to stay away from her and I fully planned on it, but I don’t know, something happened. She happened and now I’m a fucking mess. She’s all I think about. She’s all I want.” My words came out in a rush. “Alice couldn’t even do it for me.”

“Oh, you really do have it bad,” Ace sounded concerned on the other end.

“So do you think it’s terminal?”

He laughed again, but this time it was much softer. “The only way to not go completely insane is to tell Audrey how you really feel with no bullshit.”

“I didn’t even say it was Audrey,” I rolled my eyes as if he were standing in front of me.

“Do you honestly think I’m that stupid? I saw the way you looked when all the shit hit the fan with Brian! The other brothers were furious because they like her too, but not as much as you were. Dimitri only asked if he could shoot the man, he didn’t even threaten it. You were ready to do whatever damage you could. Consequences be damned. I’ve never seen you so possessive, so ready to fight for something that wasn’t even yours.” He sucked in a deep breath. “Then, you picked her up when she completely fell apart. I hadn’t even known you were there, lurking in the shadows like some vigilante.” He scoffed. “Not a single one of us is blind.”

I swallowed. He was right. “Well, do you think its terminal?” I whispered again.

“Oh, most definitely if you don’t do something about it. I was in your shoes a year ago.”

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