Page 109 of Of Blood & Stone

Her body stilled, fingernails digging into his skin. “I didn’t mean to. That has to count for something.”

“Sure it can, but it doesn’t change anything. Everyone fails, even you, it’s just that your mistakes cost a whole lot more than most.”

Silence.

She removed her hand from his. “I’d hoped for something a bit more… comforting than this.”

Elnok sighed, “Would it have actually been comforting to hear me tell you lies? That you’re a hero in shining armor with so much good intention it’ll wipe away all the sins you’ve committed in your temple? All the devastation you’ve sown on this continent?”

“By Aretta’s blood, I get it, Elnok.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” he retorted. “You aren’t a good or bad person, Sylzenya. You’re just… human. A human with magic, which means your consequences reach farther than mine ever could. Ever since I first heard you on your temple’s balcony, I saw what Distrathrus was trying to display: that you’re different. Special. And in ways, you are, just like anyone is with their intricacies. But even with all your magic and pageantry, you were still no better than anyone else down in those gardens.” He paused, swiping his thumb along his gold ring. “You’re not separate from this world like Distrathrus wants you to believe, you’re a part of it.”

She sat in silence until she said, “Are you always this scathingly honest?”

He huffed a laugh. “No, actually. But I guess… I really believe in you.” His eyes caught her gaze. “And I suppose I feel like I can be honest with you because of that.”

“Well, it hurts. A lot.”

He smiled. “Good. Because if it didn’t, then I’d be concerned.”

The scowl on her face relaxed, her rigidness melting away. “How are you doing that? Tell me what a fuck up I am and yet still look at me like you don’t want to see me dead?”

“It’d be hard to have a conversation with a dead person,” he chided. But all humor left his bones as he sat up straight. “I’m with you until the very end of this, Sylzenya. We’re going to find that willow.”

Slowly, she lifted her head.

“Do you promise?” she asked.

He could feel the hopelessness in her words, the loneliness in how she hugged her knees to her chest. This woman who’d commanded roots out of the ground and killed three serpentums now sat as if she held no power at all. For the first time since meeting her, he finally saw in full clarity what Distrathrus had done to her:

Reduced her to believe she was nothing without him.

Every wall Elnok had built around himself crumbled. Suddenly he was back by the cliffside, his tears mingling with the rain; his own body trembling as he grasped for a reason to continue listening to his heart beat instead of throwing himself into the sea.

“I promise.”

A stream of tears trailed down her face, meeting the faintest hint of a smile on her lips.

Elnok brushed her hair away from her face before embracing her, his hand sliding up and down her arm. He knew he should’ve kept his distance, her naked body still fresh on his tongue, but what kind of person withholds comfort in these moments? He wanted to whisper to her how everything would be alright, how they’d defeat Distrathrus and life would become something beautiful and wonderful. But it wouldn’t be the truth,for they still hadn’t found the tree and they didn’t know what it would take to stop a god from destroying humanity.

He warred with himself, holding her close. If it wasn’t for her and her people, he might’ve lived a normal life free of hunger and pain.

And yet, he didn’t want to let her go, hadn’t since he’d first seen her smile talking about her people’s history; since she slammed her fist into the wall and decided she would find the compass instead of bow to the High One’s threats; since he’d first heard her laugh in the temple gardens; since she’d removed the hanging sheet between them and touched his body as if he’d been everything she’d been looking for.

And he’d be lying if he denied feeling the exact same way about her.

Fingers digging into his shoulders, she leaned back, her shimmering eyes searching his. Gently, he brushed the remaining tears from her face, wiping them on his cloak as if to say her burdens would be his.

She whispered so soft he barely heard her, “I want to be free of him.”

He leaned forward, unable to stop himself as he combed his fingers through her hair.

“Your power far outweighs Distrathrus’, can’t you see that?”

Her eyes dipped to his mouth as her fingers traced his chest. Heat rising in his body, Elnok leaned down; her mouth slightly parted, and damn him because he didn’t want to hold back. If last night was a mistake, then why had it felt so right even after learning the truth?

“No, I can’t,” she whispered.

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