Page 87 of When You Left Me Speechless

“Where the fuck are you going?” Tanner follows me. “The game isn’t over.”

I throw the door open and toss my stuff into the back seat of my truck. I can hear Tanner behind me. “Want to go grab a drink?” I ask.

“If you leave, we forfeit. You want to tell me what’s going on with you?”

I slam the door and climb into my truck.

“Come on, man. You showed up like a bat out of hell today. You almost got into a fight over a fair call, and now you’re quitting. What the fuck happened?”

“She ended it. We got caught.”

“Shit.” He stares at me, stunned.

“I’m going home.” I shut the door and drive away, leaving Tanner in the parking lot. I replay my conversation with Poppy the entire way home.It’s unfuckingbelievable.

When I walk into my empty apartment, I’m greeted by the memory of last night. I look down at the painting I’m holding. The painting she left behind. I walk it to my office and set it inside, slamming the door behind me.

My living room looks frozen in time. The lights are still hanging around the ceiling and the sheets are wrinkled from where we slept last night on the floor. I should tear it all down, but I don’t have the energy. I collapse onto my couch instead. I swipe through my phone and click on her name. I contemplate texting her but stop myself.

What would I even say?

I’m sorry for thinking that taking you anywhere but your apartment was a good idea. I’m sorry my dumb ass had to push your boundaries and take it outside the walls of our safe space. I’m sorry I tried to make it more than you wanted. I’m sorry I’m angry that we are over before we ever actually started. I’m sorry I fucked up graduation for you.

Nothing sounds right. I throw my phone to the other side of the couch and run my hands down my face. I get up, pour myself a glass of scotch, and then turn on the TV to drown out her voice in my head.

A knockon the door startles me. I open it to find Tanner holding a case of beer.

“You look like shit,” he says as he steps past me into my place.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, shutting the door behind him and walking over to sit back down on the couch.

“I like the decor,” he laughs, gesturing around my living room.

“You can fuck off,” I bark out.

“Beer?” Tanner offers, grabbing a can from the box.

I pick up my glass of scotch and swirl the caramel color liquid around. “Decided I needed something stronger.”

Tanner sits down in the leather recliner across from me.

“You want to tell me why you just fucking forfeited the championship game?”

I take a long sip before recapping the events of this morning before our game. When I’m done, Tanner sips his beer and leans back in the chair. “Fuck man, you think she’ll go to your boss about you two?”

I shake my head. “I sure as hell hope not, but Poppy thinks she will. Not sure what she has on us, other than she thinks we were here together, but maybe that’ll be enough to fuck us both over.”

Tanner shakes his head. “What are you going to do about it?”

I shrug my shoulders, standing and pouring myself another glass. “What can I do? If I go to Keller tomorrow, then I will immediately screw us over. I have to wait and see how it plays out. She only has a week left at the school, so maybe nothing will happen until she is gone.” I pick up my phone and click on her name. “You think I should text her?”

Tanner lets out a long sigh. “I think you should just lie low until the week is over. Give her space.”

“I’m sorry about the game.”

“It’s okay, we’ll get ‘em next year.”

My alarm sounds,and my head is pounding. I’m exhausted. I didn’t sleep last night. For the first time since I started teaching, I’m dreading going to work. I pull myself together enough to make it there on time. It’s Monday, which means Poppy and Beth will be coming into my room to see Freddie. Ispend the morning contemplating what I might say to her when she walks in.

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