Page 29 of It's Complicated

Should I buy you a set of glitter bubble-bath bombs for your birthday?

From Lori:

The fact that you even know glitter bubble-bath bombs exist is scary

Do you use them often?

To Lori:

Why? You want to get into my tub action?

From Lori:

If it involves glitter bubble-bath bombs, sure

Before things get too far and I straight-out start flirting with Lori. I pivot the subject.

To Lori:

You never told me what the Cunningham sisters said about you

Only nice things, I suppose?

From Lori:

They called me uptight

And hinted I might be sexually impaired

To Lori:

That’s some serious Mean Girls territory

I pause in the lobby to wave at my doorman, then get straight to the elevator. The brief no-signal interruption gives me a moment to collect my thoughts. I shouldn’t ask, I’m flying straight into the danger zone… still, as I unlock my apartment door and plop down on the couch, I type another question.

To Lori:

Why sexually impaired?

From Lori:

Apparently last night I jumped like a bunny whenever you touched me

And we didn’t kiss

So tonight we’re going to have to bring our A-game

To Lori:

As in?

From Lori:

You have to kiss me

I knew I shouldn’t have asked.

From Lori: