Page 30 of It's Complicated

And not just any kiss

I need you to give me a performance worthy of Hollywood

So go grab a teddy bear and go practice your smooching skills

To Lori:

I find your supposition that I own teddy bears quite offensive

From Lori:

Why? They go perfectly with glitter bubble-bath bombs

To Lori:

All right, Lola, I’m at home and in serious need of a shower

From Lori:

A shower, as if

You’re probably filling the tub as we speak

Picturing you in a pink bubbly bath surrounded by unicorn glitter

To Lori:

Why unicorn glitter?

From Lori:

Cause you’re worth it, baby

I roll my eyes.

To Lori:

You want me to pick you up before dinner?

Look more couple-y?

From Lori:

Nah, I’m on the opposite way

Thanks for offering, but I’ll see you at the restaurant, Cupcake

To Lori:

Calling me Cupcake is taking it a step too far

From Lori:

All right, Stud Muffin, I’ll ease you into the nicknaming phase of our relationship more gently

PS. Did you like the dress?

My thumbs hover above the virtual keyboard forever until I type:

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