Page 81 of It's Complicated

I’m still wearing the same outfit as last night. But at least it’s work-appropriate—as opposed to my face.

As I storm into the clinic, I ignore the receptionist’s shocked expression as I enter my office and get to work at once on cleaning up my face. Once I’m a little less scary, I walk back intothe reception and ask to be alerted as soon as Dr. Collymore arrives.

“If you could also cancel all of Dr. Barlow’s non-urgent appointments and redirect the rest to me or Dr. Collymore.”

Betty nods. “Is everything okay, Dr. Archibald?”

“Peachy,” I say, then go to hide back in my office.

I sag on my chair, silently cursing at the ceiling.

I can do this. The wedding is on Tuesday, a week from yesterday. So, at worst, I’ll only have to wait six days before talking to Jace.

Six short, impossibly long days.

33

JACE

My phone dies when I arrive at my parents’ lake house in the middle of the night. I don’t have a charger, I don’t even have a change of clothes, only my wallet and my dead phone.

But the little charge I had left is all I needed to book an Uber to get me here from Lori’s house.

I use the spare key under the mat to unlock the door. The security keypad beeps a countdown. I punch in the code, disarming the alarm.

The house is dark and freezing. I kick off my shoes and turn on the heating. It’ll take all night for the house to warm up and maybe some. In the darkness, I find my way up the stairs and then to my old room.

I don’t get undressed because of the cold. Instead, I open the closet, searching for a warmer hoodie and a few extra blankets.

Sitting on the edge of the single bed, I close my eyes and inhale the familiar smells around me. Old wood, pinecones, and the faint hint of dust the house always has when it hasn’t been used for a while.

My room is a loft with a tall ceiling and wide windows overlooking the lake. Jessica always bugged me to no end forhaving the bigger room. She was right. The view is wasted on a loser like me.

Moonlight glints on a bunch of framed photos on the wall. The beam of light going to die in a corner where a few scattered toys lie abandoned—forgotten, just like me. The same teddy bear I used to sleep with as a child is sitting on top of the dresser. I grab it. Its soft, worn fur does nothing to ease the tension in my neck or the ache in my chest. I’m home, but my life is still falling apart.

My head falls forward and I sigh.

On the car ride over, I’ve had enough time to accept that I shouldn’t be mad at Aiden. If he and Lori want to be together, there’s nothing I can do about it. I have no right to be upset. While he has every right to hate me for keeping them apart for as long as I did. I should consider myself lucky he still calls me his friend. If I’d given up years ago, they wouldn’t have wasted so much time, and I would’ve stopped hanging on to a hopeless dream a long time ago. I’d be far better off now.

So what am I doing hiding in here?

I just need a few days to fully come to terms with what’s about to happen. I couldn’t bear to walk into the office tomorrow and see them exchange worried stares as they prepared to make the announcement. Nope, definitely not ready for that.

But I will be. I just need a bit of peace and quiet first.

I crawl under the covers, silently thanking my mom for always keeping a clean set of sheets on the beds.

As I close my eyes, I try to remember the last time I slept in this room. It must’ve been during our residency that week Aiden, Lori, and I came here as a sort of study retreat to pass our in-training exams. I vaguely remember staying up all night revising with Lori in this room while Aiden had already gone to bed. How we fell asleep on my bed among a sea of flashcards. Me waking up the next morning, getting rid of the flashcards and enjoyingthe weight of Lori’s body pressed against mine in the tiny bed. This bed.

We all passed the test with flying colors, but that wasn’t the point. It has never been for me. I would’ve taken a thousand more exams if it meant I could study with Lori.

And I thought I finally had her. I could almost touch the dream until it slipped through my fingers.

And maybe that’s all the last month has been: a dream. Tomorrow I’ll wake up knowing I imagined Lori kissing me. Telling me she wanted more. Practically begging for it.

I imagine Lori and Aiden in their own fictional room, laughing together, talking about their future. I picture Lori asking if Aiden wants kids, and him answering that he would love to have a half-dozen babies with her.

No jealousy, no burning rage, no sadness.

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