Page 108 of Queen Of Dark Money

Ipulled my phone from my top and dragged up the contacts list, reminded yet again that there was a part ofRafethat cared.Caredenough to put all the guys' numbers in my new phone.Caredenough to put them all on speed dial, set up the security details’ emergency numbers just in case.Caredenough to make my background a picture of handwritten codesIassumed were for each penthouse, along with an initial beside each one.

Buthe didn’t care enough to stick around afterRiverbeat his ass for taking a risk with my life.

Mythumb lazily flicked across the screen asIdebated texting him, staring at the empty message box for what felt like forever.Iclosed it without hesitation, regretting the missed opportunity, but some things needed to happen in person.Faceto face.

Icouldn’t tell him he was almost a dad seven years ago until some piece of shit decided to go on a jealous rampage and nearly drowned me, not over the phone or through a text.Thatwas a thing not to be taken lightly.

Itcould wait.

Instead,Iopened the contact details forDomand typed out a little message letting him knowIwas okay, thatRiverandJasperhad me, and where we were headed.Ihit send and watched for the receipt checkmark at the bottom that would tell me he saw it, that it reached his phone.

Itnever came.

Ifelt the little bit of happinessI’dmanaged to grab for myself slipping away between my fingers faster thanIcould scoop it upand put it back in my hole-riddled bucket.Someoneshot it, and now all the good thingsI’dstuffed inside it to balance out the negative of this whole ordeal were dripping onto the ground, andIcouldn’t save them.

Andso the spiral began.

Icouldn’t stop the tears that formed behind my lashes, but shutting my eyes meantIdidn’t have to meetJasper’sgaze in the rearview mirror asIsilently sobbed, gasping for air without a sound, desperate to hide my inadequacy as a human being.

IfIever get the fuck out of this alive,I’llsee a doctor and get on some anti-anxiety meds,Ifucking swear.

I’dneglected my own health for too long, and it was high timeIstarted paying attention to it.Inthe wake of my mother’s issues,I’dput myself on the back burner like a good daughter, and now it was at an overwhelming limit and no longer avoidable.

Thespiral shot sideways, and now allIcould think about was my mom, alone on the other side of the country, no idea her daughter was putting herself on the line, every day, to make sure she survived as long as she could.Iopened the phone app and dialed her number from memory, the tension in my limbs growing with every unanswered ring.

Finally, she picked up, andIfelt like breaking down all over again.Ididn’t even care thatJaspercould hear the conversation;Ineeded my mother, andIhad the feeling she needed me.

Theend of this ordeal couldn’t come soon enough.Iwanted to hug her, wanted to sit in that annoying, uncomfortable hospital chair again while she regaled me of jokes she and her doctors and nurses shared whileIwas gone.Iwanted the reminders that life was fleeting, needed to feel her reprimanding tone grate on my nerves whenIdid something wrong.Shewas my rock, my home, and not being with her in her time of need was killing me.

Shesounded tired when she answered, andIrealized, for her, it was still early.

“Kenzie?Oh, it’s so nice to have you calling in the morning, dear–”

Isniffed a little, tears still threatening behind my now-closed eyes, and she picked up on my emotions like a hawk spots a mouse in a cornfield.

“Oh, honey, what’s wrong?”

Ibit back a sob at her voice, so weak, so frail, so far away, and so very much whatIneeded to hear. “It’snothing mom,I’mjust a little in my feelings right now.Ineeded to hear your voice is all.”Anothersniffle fought to prove me a liar, andIchuckled to cover it up, the sound watery but hopefully muted somewhat by the distance. “Howare you doing?”

Icould feelJasper’seyes on me in the mirror, butIrefused to meet that burning gaze, knowing there were more questions there thanIhad answers for.Therewould be plenty of time to answer him later, when we weren’t in a car, running for my life, jumping from house to house in an attempt to stay one step ahead of my killer.

“Oh,I’mgoing along with the doc’s orders, you know me, dear,” my mother echoed in my ear. “DocRogersthinksI’llbe ready for surgery in a week.Thepayment department hasn’t come by to bug me again, soIassume you straightened that out for me.”Apause, which held more meaning than any words she could ever say, and then, “You’rea good daughter,Kerenza.Thebest a mother could ask for.Ihope you’re taking care of yourself.”

Thesobs were getting harder to swallow now, andIgulped back gasps asIheld the phone away from my ear, needing to take a moment to compose myself.Icouldn’t let her hear me break apart.Shedidn’t need that stress when there was nothing she could do from so far away.Butgods, didImiss her.

Ifelt like a kid again who’d skinned her knee and needed her mother to kiss it better and slap a bandaid on it to make the hurt go away.ExceptIwas a grown-ass woman in her thirties, there was no bandaid big enough to hide these emotional wounds, and the hurt would never go away from this ordeal.

Ifelt the phone leave my hand, no time to protest beforeJasperput it to his ear and explained to my mother that he was a coworker, yes,Iwas safe, andI’dhad a taxing day and needed to rest.Sheand my newest fuckboy chattered back and forth as he focused on the road, sliding into a parking garage behindRiver’sfancy car, his eyes alert and roaming the underground tomb like he expected someone to jump out and gun us down at any second.

“Yes,Ipromise you we are all taking good care of her, ma’am,” he muttered into the phone, putting the car in park. “Surething.I’llmake sure you get all our contact information in case you can’t get ahold of her.Yes, she’s an accident-prone clutz when it comes to expensive phones, but don’t worry, they’re covered in her work contract.”Heturned the key in the ignition, shutting off the car, and glanced back at me, his features softening. “Yes, ma’am,I’lllet her know.Youhave a nice day.”

Thephone was wordlessly set back into my hand, and his gaze turned away as he slipped from the car, closing the door behind him.Ididn’t expect him to open the one beside me and slip his arms around me, wordlessly tugging me into his embrace as he carried me from the car and headed for the elevator, whereRiverwaited, tapping his foot like an anxious auntie who was running late.

Theyexchanged a wordless glance, andIdidn’t fight their doting, content to let them take the lead for now.Irecognized the trip up the elevator, but the guards on the other side of the ride were new to me, andIfound myself glancing around,hoping to spotSevenin the halls whereI’dgrown accustomed to seeing him.

Nosuch luck.

“Didyou fireSeven?”Iasked, my voice weak and threaded with exhaustion, so unlike myself,Ihad to stop and wonder ifIwas really the one talking.

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