Page 94 of Blue

Cruz pulled his legs toward his chest and draped his wrists over his knees. “My stepdad would beat me with the belt.” He took another pull off the can, held his breath for a moment, and exhaled. “Not that I didn’t deserve punishment. Pretty sure my mom knew. I think that makes it more fucked up. She knew and didn’t do shit. That makes her just as responsible.”

I stared into the night, and Cruz kept talking.

“I’m not going to deny I was a rebellious teenager. But she was a shit mother. She was all I had. I’ve got no idea who my father is. I don’t think he knows I exist. I was just a kid, and she chose a guy who hated her only child, married him, and got the family she always wanted.” He shrugged. “Except I didn’t fit in.” He handed me the can and stared hard into my face. “The most fucked up part…I still love my mom.”

Silence filled the space between us. It was my turn to share, but I couldn’t force the words from my mouth. I’d never told anyone…that wasn’t true. I told my sister.

And she’d called me a liar. Cara had planned her life as a Douglas since she’d grown tits, and Jalen had noticed. She was a selfish bitch. I couldn’t think of anyother reason she’d have run to Mom. She didn’t throw me under the bus. She was the fucking bus driver.

I was a liar, sent to a therapist who claimed I made accusations to get attention, and forced to admit I’d made the story up.

My mother had to have told him. After Carl found out, I never said anything again. He made sure I understood the consequences. For the next two years, I became a willing participant. What was the point of resisting? That’s when he started making videos.

“Blue?” I turned to Cruz and realized tears soaked my face. “Who is Carl?”

He knew. All this sharing was to get me to confess. “My father’s best friend, my best friend’s father, and now my sister’s father-in-law.” A fucking albatross around my neck coiling tighter and tighter until I couldn’t fucking breathe.

Reaching over, he grabbed my phone, tapped the screen to wake it up, and held the screensaver up to my face. Kiss. My girl.

More tears blurred my vision.

“Is she worth your secrets? If you can’t tell me, you need to tell her.”

I took my phone and ran my finger along the curve of her face.

“Nothing you tell her is going to change how she feels about you.” Cruz leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. “Don’t talk. Just listen. There’s only one way to get rid of the skeleton in your closet. You buryhimsix feet deep.” He kept talking to me with his eyes closed. “The only details I need are when and where. And that we make the punishment fit the crime.”

All I could do was nod. I wasn’t sure if the slip of intoxication in my veins was from the weed, thewhiskey, or the prospect of finally confronting Carl, to have him look in my vengeful eyes, so that I could see the fear in his.

Cruz’s lazy gaze drifted to mine. “Fuck, dude, we’re going to be up here awhile. No way am I climbing down that ladder this high.”

A few minutes later, Cruz was asleep sitting up. A bit of drool trickled from his mouth. I snapped a picture because the next time I felt like jumping I wanted to remember that tonight he saved my life.

***

Should I be riding my bike? Probably not. I’d lost my high. And my tolerance to alcohol would have me feeling sober even if I wasn’t. While Cruz had slept, I’d thought about what I’d say to Kiss. Nothing was going to make what I had to say easier to hear.

As I rode staggered a half car length behind Cruz, I considered what he’d said. If I had the chance to confront Carl, would I? Fuck, yes, I would. And I’d make sure I left him to live in fear.

The HRMC compound was quiet as we parked. There were only a couple of bikes parked close to the doors. Embers smoldered inside the oil drum. Relief swam through my blood. There were only a few people who knew I’d lost my shit tonight. I didn’t want to introduce anyone else to my drama.

“You good?” Cruz asked as we headed into the chapel.

“I will be if she’s here.” I sent her a text before we’d ridden away from the flour mill, but she hadn’t answered. She’d either be here or at home, and the MC was closer.

Inside the chapel, someone had left the light on above the bar, otherwise, the club was quiet. Myfootfalls echoed through the open room as I made my way to the rear of the church and down the hallway to Pike’s old room.

Cruz waited next to me, and I opened the door to the room. McKelle and Kiss slept on the bed. We exchanged a glance. Both girls were in oversized Heller T-shirts and panties. Obviously, my girl had found a friend to help her through the shit I’d pulled on her.

Kiss’s eyes snapped open. Instantly, she was off the bed, across the room, and in my arms. I gripped her ass, and her arms banded around my shoulders, her legs around my hips, and her face buried against my neck.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, breathing in her soft, sleepy warmth.

Cruz crossed the room, slid an arm under McKelle’s knees, wrapped one around her back, and lifted her. “See you in the morning.” He carried her out of the room. A moment later, his bedroom door closed.

I settled on the bed, keeping Kiss in my arms.

She inched away but didn’t speak. Her gentle fingers traced the angles of my face.

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