Page 18 of The Best is Yet to Cum

“A few reasons, but mainly because we hadn’t talked in a while, and I’ve been ignoring your texts for three months. I wasn’t sure what your attitude would be like.”

He chuckled. “First of all, I’m a grown-ass man. I don’t get attitudes. Secondly, I already told you I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you. It would’ve been a pleasant surprise had you responded, but I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Did you really think of me that much?”

“I did, and every attempt to get you off my mind failed miserably, so I gave up.”

“What kinds of things did you do to get me off your mind?”

His brow raised. “Umm, I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know. Now, about this French toast batter…”

He’d just finished the last bite of his food.

I shook my head. “If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you.”

“It’s that serious, huh?”

“I need something to keep you coming back.”

“Shit, if you let me eat that pussy as an appetizer before every meal, you’ll never get rid of me.”

“Is that the only reason you’re here… for sex?”

“Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking.”

“Let’s go to the living room.” He stood and extended his hand toward mine, and I took it, allowing him to help me up.

Our hands remained connected until he sat on the couch and pulled me onto his lap.

“Let me clear up any confusion. This isn’t about sex. I can get sex from plenty of women. I feel something with you that I haven’t felt with another woman, and when you’re ready, I want to explore it.”

“I started therapy when I returned from New Orleans.”

“Has it helped?”

“It’s helped a lot, and I’ve discovered quite a bit about myself. One of them is that I’m afraid to be alone. That’s why I stayed with Win—”

“Ain’t shit changed, Mona. Don’t mention that nigga’s name in my presence.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed before continuing without mentioning Winston. “I stayed in my marriage longer than I should have and took the disrespect, the lying, the cheating, the verbal abuse, and so much more because I was afraid of doing life alone.”

“Do you—”

“Wait, I’m not done.”

“My bad, baby.”

“When I reflected, I realized I didn’t need a therapist to tell me that, but she helped me acknowledge and deal with it. When I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship, I was trying to prove to myself that I could be alone.”

He didn’t respond immediately, probably waiting to make sure I was done talking. “Have your feelings about being in a relationship changed?”

“If you’re asking if I’m ready… I guess that’s debatable. I’m still working on me, but I found the happiness I’ve been looking for within. All these years, I was looking for my partner to make me happy, but now I know I’m the only person responsible for my happiness.”

“That’s beautiful, baby.”

“It is. I don’t fear being alone anymore, but I don’t want to be. I want someone to share my happiness with.”

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