Page 69 of Worth the Wait

“I can’t believe he built that big, beautiful home.” I sniffed, but that wasn’t entirely the truth. “Actually, I can believe it because that’s who he is. It’s just so much more than I ever could have expected.”

“Patrick is one of a kind,” my dad said with a soft smile and a lift of his shoulder, as if he was delivering some sort of prophecy.

“I know.” My voice was snippier than I had intended, holding bite for no good reason. “Sorry, I’m just a mess right now. And you knew exactly what would happen if I saw that house.”

I pointed a finger at my dad, who shook his head like he was some innocent little boy instead of the instigator that he truly was. There was an ulterior motive lurking behind his eyes.

“I just wanted you to see what you were leaving behind. Patrick was never going to tell you about it. You would have never even known it existed. Which would be better? Not knowing or knowing?” he asked point-blank, and I felt my breath catch in my throat.

The answer was easy though. I didn’t even have to think about it. “I definitely wanted to know. Not knowing would have been worse somehow.”

“Okay then.” He raised his hands in the air like he’d done the right thing and I should get over it already. “So, are you staying or what?” He grinned like an alley cat who’d just caught his dinner, and I felt myself laugh. It was a hell of a lot better than crying.

“I can’t stay. At least not yet.”

Sarina reached her hand out and placed it on my leg. I turned to look at her.

“You can, you know? I’ll deal with mother.”

I shook my head. “This has nothing to do with her.”

My mother was the least of my concerns. To be honest, she hadn’t even factored into my mindset at all. Decisions about my future did not hinge on her opinion of me. I didn’t care what she wanted, thought I deserved, or what she believed I should have in my life. That was Sarina’s burden to bear, not mine.

“Then, what is it? Because the answer is pretty obvious,” Sarina announced. “Unless you’re the only one who can’t see it?”

I swallowed and held my breath. “I’m sure it seems obvious from the outside. Patrick pretty much said the same thing.”

“Would you expect him to say anything different? The boy is in love with you.” My dad shifted in the chair, moving the leg with the cast to try to get more comfortable. “I swear to God, I’m going to cut this thing off of me.”

“You will do no such thing,” I said forcefully.

“It might help sway your decision if I did,” he teased before growing serious. “But I won’t. I want you here because it’s where you want to be, not because I cut off my cast and broke my foot again to make you stay here and be my nursemaid.”

I smiled softly. “I know, Dad.”

The two most important men in my life were also the most selfless. They both respected me enough to let me go and make my own decisions, regardless of how much pain those decisions caused them. They gave me permission, without the guilt. At least, they tried. My guilt wasn’t really in their control.

“Listen, I don’t want to spend the rest of our time here focusing on my relationship with Patrick, okay? I need to make this decision on my own, and it’s hard enough as it is,” I said to my family, who nodded in agreement and quickly moved on.

“Let’s go decorate my room then!” Sarina shouted before running over to our dad and helping him up from his chair with a huge smile on her face.

My dad looked so damn happy as he stood up and reached for his crutches. “Can’t wait to give it some flair,” he teased as my sister giggled.

Watching them made my heart soar. They’d needed this time together. It was as if I could literally see their past hurts healing in front of my eyes. I refused to take that from them by making it all about me and Patrick.

But that didn’t stop me from checking my phone incessantly, waiting for a text or any sign of life from Patrick. One that never came. One that I never sent either, even though my finger hovered over the Messages app more times than I could count. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, that I loved him and we would make it through this in the end. But how could I do any of that when I couldn’t seem to make a damn decision to save my life?

Patrick deserved much more than hollow words. He deserved the action that defined them as well. And until I could give him that, I decided it was best to stay quiet.

Sarina and I left our dad’s house, tears streaming down all three of our faces as we said goodbye…for now. It had been such an amazing visit, and leaving felt bittersweet. I was so happy that Sarina had finally gotten to spend some quality time with our dad and see how amazing of a man he was. There was no doubt in my mind that she’d come back to Sugar Mountain to see him in the future, regardless of whether or not I was here.

As for me, well, I was feeling overwhelmed and more than a little frazzled. I’d always known how important this town was to me and how much I loved it, but it seemed easier to put all those feelings away when I was on the other side of the country with no set time frame of coming back.

Now that I’d been home, every single memory I’d locked away was crashing into me with full force. I couldn’t pretend like this wasn’t where I wanted to be anymore. Nostalgia raged like a river, turning me upside down and inside out, my emotions exposed and raw. I felt sick to my stomach whenever I thought about going back to New York.I’d never truly belonged there, even when I enjoyed it. And now, I wasn’t sure how I could return and pretend that it was where I was supposed to be.

Sarina and I walked toward the small airplane sitting on the runway, waiting to take us down the mountain, as I looked around, searching for any sign ofhim.

“He’s not here,” Sarina said, as if she knew what Patrick’s intentions were.

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