Page 70 of Worth the Wait

“I can see that,” I responded with a little more snark than necessary.

What did I expect?

“You wanted him to be here though?” she asked, and I found myself nodding my head.

“I think I did, yeah. But it’s not fair of me to want that. I expect too much from him and give nothing in return.”

It was an ugly truth. One I could no longer deny. I was selfish, and Patrick deserved better. He continually showed me how much he loved me, and all I did was hurt him. A man could only take having his heart broken so many times before he stopped putting himself out there for more.

Sarina looked at me, her eyebrows pinched together as she reached for my arm and pulled me to a stop. “I get it now, you know.”

“Get what?”

She smiled and blew out a soft breath, the wisps of air curling around her mouth like smoke. “You belong here, Addison. I’ve never seen you glow in the city the way you have here.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What do you mean,glow?”

“You’re all lit up here. You’re dim in New York. It sounds shitty, I know, but it’s a compliment. You’re not the same person there that you are here,” she said so matter-of-factly, and even though I’d felt that way internally, I hadn’t realized that it came across to other people as well.

My body stiffened in response to her observation. “I do love it here. So much,” I admitted, and she wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into a side hug.

“So, why are you leaving?” she asked, and I felt my stomach drop with the question. I’d already heard it from Patrick. From Dad. But not Sarina.

My eyes instantly started to water. “I don’t know. I need to make a decision once and for all. I’ve never been wishy-washy in my life, and I feel like it’s all I am now. I’m annoying myself.”

She laughed and started walking toward the waiting plane. “I’ll help you figure it all out, okay?”

“Okay.”

I followed her onto the small plane, stopping only to take one more look around, just in case Patrick had decided to show up. But he wasn’t there. And honestly, I couldn’t blame him. If the roles had been reversed, I wouldn’t have shown up either.

LET HER GO

PATRICK

When Addi left again, I thought I might fucking die. Like my heart might simply stop beating and I would have understood completely. My chest ached so deeply. It was different from the first time she’d left. My love for that woman was a part of me. I didn’t know how to remove it. Didn’t want to either.

I knew exactly when her flight was leaving, and even though she never spotted me at the airport, I was there. Watching her go. She looked around multiple times, like she was hoping to see me, but I never stepped out of the cover I was under. Couldn’t let her see me standing there if she wasn’t ever coming back.

It was pure misery. Self-induced but necessary. It was as if I needed to watch her get on that plane with my own two eyes; otherwise, I wouldn’t have believed it.

She’d seen the home I’d built us.

We’d made love in the bed I’d bought for us.

She’d seen exactly what our life could look like together.

And she still fucking walked away from it all.

Again.

My phone pinged, and my heart soared for a second with the sound. Maybe Addi was sending me a message from inside the plane, letting me know she missed me, or that she loved me, or any-damn-thing. But when I looked down and saw that it was a message from Thomas, I felt nothing but sadness. He’d been blowing me up ever since he had seen Addi at my house the other day. Said Clara wouldn’t stop talking about her.

All it had taken was one brief visit, and she was intertwined in our lives like she’d never left it in the first place. If they were struggling to move on without her, imagine how I felt.

So, I stood there, watching the love of my life step onto a plane. And I stayed until it took off into the air and disappeared out of sight, taking my heart with it. I’d been living without one for almost four years now anyway. Guessed I’d be living without it for a lot longer than that.

BACK IN THE BIG CITY

---