I grabbed the phone so fast that it dropped on the bed between us. We both lunged for it, but I reached it first and clutched it tightly in my hand.
“Read it out loud,” she said.
I shook my head. “No. Please fix this,” I asked once more.
I pushed to a stand and headed toward her door.
“You’ll only make it a bigger deal if you deny it. And they won’t believe you anyway. It will blow over faster if you say nothing.”
I had no idea if that was true or not. I’d never had any experience with this kind of thing before. Sure, Patrick had been a celebrity of sorts back in Sugar Mountain, but that was not even remotely the same as this. No one had printed articles about us in the local paper or posted online. Gossiping in Sugar Saloon, sure. But that was about as scandalous as it got.
Hustling back through the long hallway toward my end of the condo, I passed my mother, who was now sitting in the kitchen.
“That Jamison boy is as rich as they come. Very nice pull, Addison. I’m impressed.”
“It’s not true, Mother. I don’t even know him,” I shouted over my shoulder as I continued heading to my room.
Slamming my door, I wiggled into my bed and opened the message from Matthew as my heart raced and my fingers shook.
If the pictures aren’t what they look like, you might want to give my brother a heads-up before he burns the whole town to the ground. BTW, miss you.
Crap.
Patrick had seen the pictures. Of all the things for him to see, he’d seen those particular photographs of me with another guy. Which meant that he believed the headlines, just like everyone else seemed too. Then again, why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t like he knew that my heart still ached for him daily.
I wasn’t sure what to respond back to Matthew, so I simply texted him athanksandmiss you toobefore pulling up Patrick’s name and staring at it. The thought of him seeing those pictures and how upset he must have felt, made me sick to my stomach.
He probably believed that I was out here in New York, moving on with my love life, when the truth was that there was no moving on. I was stuck. But as long as I was still living here, unsure of what my future looked like, I refused to tell him that.
It seemed like everything I did hurt him. And I hated myself for it. But he deserved to know the truth about this.
Hi. I just wanted you to know that those pictures aren’t what they seem. I’m not dating that guy. He’s a friend of Sarina’s. I know you might not care anymore, but I still needed you to know the truth.
Without overthinking, I pressed Send and watched as it quickly changed from Delivered to Read. My heart started thumping as I waited for his response. The dots bounced and then disappeared on the screen before they started bouncing again, indicating that he was typing—or at least thinking about it.
I appreciate it, Addi. Thank you. And just for the record, I’ll always care when it comes to you.
I started crying. The tears spilling so hard and fast from my eyes that I couldn’t even see the phone anymore. It made my head ache worse as the pounding intensified.
I still loved Patrick so damn much. And it killed me that I couldn’t tell him. Not while my future was still so up in the air. Not after I’d just gotten this insane offer that I didn’t know what the hell to do with. Not when I wasn’t sure I’d ever get back to Sugar Mountain.
Just thinking that thought alone made me feel sick. What the hell was I doing with my life?
CHRISTMAS #4 WITHOUT MY GIRL
PATRICK
Iwoke up with another number in my head.Four.Today was the fourth Christmas I’d be spending without Addi. I really wished I would stop counting every single fucking thing when it came to her, but it was some sick habit I’d picked up and couldn’t seem to stop.
That text she’d sent the other day flooded me with relief. I hadn’t realized just how worked up I’d been over those photographs until I got her message, letting me know that she wasn’t dating that jerkoff, Jamison. I’d desperately needed to know that fact, and I was pretty sure I had my younger brother to thank for it. Or kill for it. I’d decide which one when I saw him later.
Addi never sent another message after the reply I’d sent her, but I’d expected as much. Even though I hated it. I wanted to hear more, like how she missed me, still loved me, and hated living without me. I was an emotional roller coaster whenever it came to her. Wanting all of her attention all the time and then pushing her away for giving it to me whenever she did.
See, if my girl wasn’t coming back home, I couldn’t keep her in my life. Because eventually, she’d move on. Just because she hadn’t done so with the guy in the pictures didn’t mean that she never would. And I couldn’t watch that happen, even if I was only viewing it online.
Seeing her with someone else, with a guy who wasn’t me, would make me want to pull my eyes clean out and burn the memory from my brain. I wouldn’t handle it well.
Reaching for my phone, I read her message one more time, even though I’d already read it a hundred times.