Page 143 of Endgame

She’s laughing. Of course, she is. My panic is amusing to her. “Okay, okay. You have my attention. Now who shit in your cereal?”

“Mother. Can we be serious, please?”

I can hear her shuffling through what I’m sure is her chocolate drawer. She thinks it’s a hidden place nobody knows about, but she’s wrong. Once she found out Navy discovered her couch cushion stashes, she started hiding them in the drawer, blending them in with all her craft supplies. She’s not sneaky enough for Navy.

“Yes, honey. What’s going on?”

I need to get it off my chest. “She’s going to see it tomorrow. All my plans are falling apart. What should I do?”

My mom has been lending her advice and womanly insight on some big decisions I’ve been making lately. Her opinion means more to me than anything.

“Oh, sweetie. You stick to the plan. Just alter it a little. As much as you don’t think you need to, please be mindful of what you’ll do if she reacts differently. I don’t see how she could be bothered by it, but still, prepare your heart, sweetie. Okay? Dakota loves you. Hold onto that.”

As soon asI left Dakota at the fields, my mind went into blind panic mode. I’m moving full speed ahead and preparing myself for the unknown.

I’m freaking out inside.

This could scare her away. It could make her run far away from me.

Please don’t flee, angel. Stay with me.

Yet, the deepest part of me knows it won’t.

She may hesitate, but I know her heart is sealed with mine. The next steps are foreign to both of us and can ultimately come with some hurdles to face. In this case, I decided for both of us without consulting her first.

It’s fine. Dakota loves me. No stress.

52

DAKOTA

PullingChevy into the gravel driveway, I’m met with so much peace. It’s terrifying. At one point, this home represented nothing but love and core memories in my life. Within a moment, it became the place I couldn’t get far enough away from.

Now, it’s a symbol of accepting today and what tomorrow brings.

I smile as I climb out of the truck and round the tailgate, putting myself front and center with the garage door.

I can see Dad in there now, yelling at the flatscreen while he works on building Mom her next piece of furniture.The electric saw masked his grunts and cursing, which would soon turn to infectious elation the second mom came out with a meal, kissing and thanking him.

The ache in my heart is still there, but the picture of him in my head shows happiness in my smile.

I decided to wear colors that would keep my mood centered and fit for the occasion. I chose a pair of black cut-off jean shorts, red and white Dunks, and my white baby tee with two cowboy boots embossed in red threading. My hairis in messy, teased waves, falling down the center of my back.

I feel comfortable and confident, and I’m ready to move forward.

Spotting Helen on the phone by the front door, I head in her direction, watching as she ends the call and turns to greet me kindly.

“Ms. Foster, hi. Big day, huh?” I guess it is. Fiddling with my phone and keys, I laugh lightly, trying to match her energy.

“Yes. I guess it is. I’m excited.”

“Awesome. The buyer is this way in the dining room. Let’s go ahead and introduce you.”

This is the moment my nerves decide to take flight. I’m not nervous about meeting the buyers per se, although from what she said, there seems to be only one present. It's more about how I’ll feel saying goodbye for good.

There’s this heavy finality knowing you’ll never be able to return. Since I’ve owned this home, I never really felt saddened because I knew it would still be here in the back of my mind, and I’d always have the chance to come back if I wanted.

But after today, this special home will belong to a new family, and I doubt they’ll want the orphaned daughter of the dead folks who used to live here stopping by for monthly visits.

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