Page 36 of Don't Fall in Love (and how to break the rules)

Nisha swallowed. “I remember waking up at about five. The birds were singing and I could feel the sun beginning to warm the tent. I looked over at you and you looked so perfect, lying there asleep, your golden hair spread about your head like a halo.”

Chrissie looked at Nisha in surprise, but Nisha turned her face away before continuing. “It sounds stupid, I know. I just thought that this had been the most perfect twenty-four hours and the best night of my life, and whatever happened next would surely ruin everything.”

“You wanted the fairytale?” said Chrissie, reaching out her hand and resting it on Nisha’s thigh. Nisha twitched slightly, surprised by the touch.

Nisha turned to face Chrissie. “Yes. But more than that, I was afraid of what it all meant. If it became more than just a perfect twenty-four hours it meant that my life might end up entirely differently to the one I’d expected. Certainly different to what my parents expected.”

Absentmindedly, Chrissie had begun to stroke her hand up and down Nisha’s thigh, taking in the feel of the muscles beneath her fingers.

“It was twenty years ago,” continued Nisha, “and I had no idea how to talk about the fact that I was in love with my best friend in a not-very-best-friend way. I wasn’t afraid to be gay or bi or whatever, I just hadn’t expected it, and I didn’t know what to do.” Nisha picked up the wine bottle and filled Chrissie’s tiny glass for the last time, before taking another generous swig of the remaining Rioja. “And worst of all, I didn’t know how to talk to you about it all.”

“We could have worked it out together,” said Chrissie, the words ‘in love’ swimming around her brain.

Nisha had said she was in love with her.

“Yes, and in hindsight, of course, that’s what we should have done. But it didn’t feel that way back then. It all felt so existential and I didn’t know what to do. So I ran.”

“You ran,” said Chrissie. She drained her glass before speaking again. “Thank you for telling me.”

Nisha gave a rueful smile. “And I know I’ve been an arsehole for the last few weeks. I’m sorry for that, too. I was ashamed of what I did, I guess a bit like you were with Kiera, so I pushed you away.” She put her hand on top of Chrissie’s.

“But not now?” said Chrissie, feeling her face drawn towards Nisha’s as if by magnetism, feeling herself release her concerns.

“Not now,” said Nisha. “I’ve been so miserable not talking to you properly.” Her voice was soft, and Chrissie could feel her breath on her own face. “When really, all I’ve wanted to do was kiss you back since the moment you pushed me against that wall and planted your lips on me.” Chrissie swallowed, her pulse quickening. “But I won’t if you don’t want me to. You made yourself clear before. You said you didn’t want this.” Nisha’s dark eyes were trained on Chrissie’s.

Chrissie adjusted the hand that was sandwiched between Nisha’s hand and thigh, leaned forward, and this time, very softly and hesitantly, kissed the woman before her.

This time there was no Lucian, no rain, no drama. Just the two of them, a bottle of wine and the tiniest bed in human history. Nisha returned the kiss, and it felt different. It took Chrissie back to the tent for a moment or two, and then it changed, to the here and now. It was the Nisha she knew in this moment. The bold, honest, flawed Nisha who was a woman and was willing to own her actions.

Chrissie framed Nisha’s face with her thumbs and deepened the kiss, allowing her tongue to brush her lips. Nisha sighed and put her arms around Chrissie, pulling her in closer. “You may well be the sexiest woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of kissing,” she said, moving her face back slightly.

“Am I the only woman you’ve ever kissed?” asked Chrissie, suspicion in her voice.

Nisha laughed. “No. Not even slightly. I might have had a crisis back then, but I sorted myself out at uni.”

“I bet you did,” said Chrissie with a pout.

“Oh shut up and kiss me again, please,” said Nisha, leaning back towards her colleague.

Chapter Thirty-One

Chrissie leaned forward and kissed Nisha again, this time with more confidence. She put her hand to Nisha’s cheek, then pulled away slightly.

“Thank you,” she said, simply.

“For what?”

“For telling me. I always wondered. I figured I’d never know. But then, I figured I’d never see you again.” Chrissie’s hand was still on Nisha’s face.

Nisha gave a lopsided smile. “Well, I tend to get there. Eventually. I’m just sorry it took me so long. I always knew I’d done you wrong, but I never knew how to make up for it.”

“I have an idea,” said Chrissie, her cheeks reddening.

Nisha grinned. “Oh I think I know this one,” she said. Gently, she pushed Chrissie back down onto the bed, then kissed her, while lowering herself down on top of her. “Is this ok?” she asked, pausing for a moment.

“Oh my God, yes,” said Chrissie. “You have my full consent.” She pulled Nisha into her and felt her insides heat.

Nisha didn’t need asking twice. She kissed Chrissie soundly, her tongue running along Chrissie’s bottom lip. Chrissie tooka sharp intake of breath, then sighed. She could feel her body responding to Nisha’s touch in a way she hadn’t felt for years. She could feel Nisha’s muscular thigh pressing between her legs, giving their kisses a sense of urgency. She wanted more.

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