Page 81 of Crazy Imperfect Hearts

I pick absently at the table. “So what happens now? Have you been to the doctor yet? When is it due? Can we find out the sex?”

She laughs again. She’s downright giddy. Me, I’m miserable. I want to take her in my arms and tell her I’m in love with her. I want to celebrate us becoming a family. I want to actuallymakeus a family.

But we’re not one. We’re the furthest thing from a family as you can get. Technically, we’re now bound by the legal contract we both signed. The business transaction we agreed to. The one that has me being the occasional weekend dad and her the primary parent.

I want to find the contract and rip it to shreds. I don’t want to be a weekend dad. I don’t want every other holiday. I want every holiday. I want everyday. With her. With them.

“I just found out today,” she says. “I haven’t even called the doctor. I doubt they’d want to see me for at least a few weeks. It’s still so early. But I did look up the due date.”

“How?”

“The baby’s due date is based off your last period. Mine was June seventh. That puts the baby due on March fourteenth.”

“Holy shit.”

I feel the blood drain from my face. This is real. I did this. I agreed to this. Hell, it was my fucking idea. And now I have to live with what I’ve done.

Her hand touches my arm. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I shake my head, trying to get my blood flowing again. “It’s just… I mean I knew what we were doing, but it’s all so unreal.”

Her smile falls. “Are you disappointed it happened on the first try?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Liar.” She narrows her eyes. “Do you really want a kid, or was it a ruse to have regular sex with someone who doesn’t think you’re a pariah?”

“I want a kid, Regan. I wasn’t lying about that.” I shrug. “Still, can you blame me if I’m a red-blooded man who wanted to spend a little more time in the sack with a beautiful woman?”

“Sorry,” she says, her grin reappearing. “Guess you’ll have to go back to spending more time with your right hand.”

I snicker disingenuously. “Guess so.”

She stands. “I should open the shop. I was just too shocked to do it earlier. I’ll let you know how the doctor’s appointment goes.”

“You’ll let me know? Regan, I want to be there.”

She cocks her head. “You do?”

“Yes. I do. It’s my kid too. Like I said, I want this.”

This and more, a voice screams in my head.

“There will be rumors if anyone sees you there.”

“I’ll have them bring me in the back door or whatever. Ah man, don’t tell me Hudson McQuaid is your doctor. Please, anyone but him.”

“You think I want my friend’s husband all up in my business? No way. It’s Dr. Russo. I’ll text you the day and time. If you can’t make it, I’ll give you the CliffsNotes.”

“I’ll make it.”

“What if you’re out of town?”

“Regan, I said I’ll make it. But listen, here’s what you should do. When you get to the office and they take you back to an exam room, that’s when you ask the doctor to bring me in through the back door. I’ll park a ways down the street and wait there.”

“It’s going to be hard to keep this a secret if anyone suspects.”

“We’ll do what we can, but sooner or later, everyone will know.”

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