Page 31 of Be My Reason

And with that, Emma grabs her purse and they turn around and walk out the door.

For their two-week honeymoon.

No goodbye or anything.

The door closes behind them, leaving Nate and me sitting on the couch, dumbfounded.

My eyes search the room for something look at.You could hear a pin drop. I have no idea what to do. Nate shifts on the couch and I know he is looking at me. I slowly turn my head in his direction and lock eyes with him. We stare at each other for about five seconds. Then we break out in hysterical laughter. My eyes are watering and my stomach hurts but I can’t stop laughing. We both try to stop but then we look at each other and start up again.

“Why do I feel like our parents just gave us a lecture and then a time out to think about it?” Nate says, and then we laugh some more.

“Because that is pretty much what happened,” I say.

Once our laughter subsides, it gets a little uncomfortable again.

I figure, what the hell, I’ll start.

“Sorry—”

“I’m sorry—”

We both say at the same time and then smile awkwardly at each other.

“You go,” he says.

I take a deep breath and try not to focus on the way his thumb is rubbing circles into the couch.Just like it was into my back last night. “Okay. Um, after Michael died I was a mess and of course I thought you were a philandering cheater, bedding every co-ed around so I didn’t want them to tell you he was gone. I had a hard time getting over him. I still have bad days. I didn’t need the added pressure of you . . .”—I wrinkle my nose—“pestering me.” I look down at my hands.

And I never intendon getting into another relationship ever again.

“So, let me see if I understand this correctly.” He clears his throat. “You told Graham and Emma not to tell me Michael died.”

I nod.

“And you told them not to talk about me when they were around you.”

I nod again.

“So, this whole time, you thought I not only slept around on my wife but was bedding everything in a skirt?”

“That pretty much sums it up.” I bite my lip.

“God, Brooklyn. That couldn’t be further from the truth.” He closes his eyes and his head falls back against the cushions. “I hate that you thought that about me this entire time. Claudia . . . my wife . . .” he says, then takes a deep breath, “myex-wife,she cheated on me so I ended the marriage.”

I stay silent and wait for him to continue.I really want to hear the whole story as long as he’s sharing.

“I kind of went a little wild after our divorce.I did sleep with a few too many women. But they all knew the score. I wasn’t dishonest about my intentions. But I changed. When I saw you in Raleigh two years ago, I changed.”

He shifts so that he is closer to me.“Brooklyn, this was all just one big misunderstanding. I’m sorry as hell that you lost Michael. Believe me, I am. But, I really think we could be great together. You can’t deny the chemistry we have. We had. Even all those years ago.”

He reaches out to take my hand.

I pull away. I pull away even though I want to feel his touch. I know what his hands feel like on mine. I know what they feel like on my body. I felt it again last night when we danced. I know that if I let him touch me, I might lose control. He is my kryptonite. He has been since I was seventeen. I will be fine as long as I stay away. Far away. I must stay focused. I can’t let my emotions get in the way. Emotions lead to heartache. Every. Single. Time.

He looks hurt and is eyeing the hand that I pulled away. “Brooklyn—”

“Nate, I appreciate what you’ve told me. I’m glad that you are not the terrible person I thought you were.”

I see him cringe.He runs his hand through his hair. “But?” he says.

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