Page 56 of Back to Willow

My head rises, and Johanna tilts hers, looking straight into my soul with loving, warm brown irises. It pains me to know that I have brought her to a date that is just going to end early…

“Johanna,” I call. My voice comes out strained as if I’m in pain at the anticipation of how hard shit is about to hit the fan.

Her eyes widen before a smirk slips through, letting me know she’s got the wrong idea.

“Look—” I am cut off with the slam of her lips against mine.

For a moment, I freeze and consequently let her think I am into it. But when my brain finally catches up with my body, I grab her by the shoulders and slowly pull her away. The moment I do, her face slightly twists into a confused frown, and I take a deep breath, preparing myself for impact.

As if two broken hearts weren’t enough in the middle of this shitstorm, I’m about to break a third.

NINETEEN

Willow

Todayisoneofthose days.

One of those where you’re sad, angry, and tired.

What was going on in my head to make me stay there for that long? I’d hoped they’d be out instead of staying in. My breath of relief got caught up in my throat the moment I saw them leaving the building with Johanna perched over Liam’s body.

I can’t be mad at them either. Johanna met him before she knew who he was to me, or what he meant. And after all of this time, I couldn’t possibly think he hadn’t been living his best life, moving on. I know.

But thethoughtof him moving on is less hurtful thanseeingit with my own eyes. And my brain seems to hate me, too, replaying the image of them together more times than I can count. To worsen things, I forcefully have to stay back at the library to finish up a project until my shift starts at the diner, meaning I won’t be seeing Dylan until late at night when he’s already sleeping.

These kinds of days are the days I never wanted to have and I’ll fight my best to keep them to a minimum. I don’t want to be the kind of mum who leaves early in the morning and only comes back late in the evening.No.I want to be there for my boy.

But I know sometimes, these kinds of days are inevitable.

“Hey,” Johanna’s voice catches my attention. “How’s it going?”

Her voice sounds off—flat, a contrast from her usually chirpy self. As I turn around, she’s standing behind me with a stack of books in her arms. Her expression seems slightly cold and detached, leaving me to wonder what happened.

However, I don’t have the courage to ask. It’s not like it is my business so, shuffling to the side, I make room for her to sit down next to me.

“I’m hanging on. Days like today when I barely see Dylan are the hardest,” I mumble. “And you?”

“It’s going.” Then she sighs and keeps quiet for a little.

But it’s not like a usual silent moment. There’s some kind of tension rolling off of her, and I can’t pinpoint why. We were fine a few days ago, during dinner.

“Can I ask you something?” Looking back at her, I notice how her back straightens as she tries to appear surer of herself.

Weird. I have never seen Johanna not be sure of herself.

“Is he Liam’s?”

I splutter.What?

Johanna’s eyes blaze towards my own, a different kind of fierceness burning in them. The kind I have never seen before.

Meekly, I ask, “Why do you ask that?”

“Well, besides the obvious unfinished business?” Her voice comes out pointed, defensive. “They look alike.A lot.”

“I–” Words fail me from the blind-sighting move she played on me. This is not a subject I’m ready to speak about. I never have with anyone, not even my own brother, let alone a girl I just met a few weeks ago. “It’s complicated.”

“It’s not. He either is or he isn’t.”

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