“You were too young.”
My hands pause before lowering at my sides. I’m no longer fighting him, but Vitaly keeps his palm over my mouth.
“And I resented the idea of marriage to begin with,” he hisses in my ear. “Iwasentitled. I considered you a burden before I ever laid eyes on you, and when I saw how young you were … I panicked. I’msorrymy actions hurt you that day. I wasn’t at the time, and because I know you want my honesty, I’ll even say I wasn’t truly sorry until right now.” He pulls back from my ear and slowly removes his hand from my mouth, like he thinks I may scream. His eyes search my face. “I had no idea how badly I hurt you.”
I scoff but have to look away from the sincerity on his face. “You know how things work. I got one shot. Nobody would have wanted me after I’d been rejected by your family… My father never even tried.”
“I did know. And I didn’t care, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”
His rough palm cups my jaw and moves it to face him, the warmth from his touch a pang in my chest. The first tear I’ve shed in nine years slips from my eye, breaking my vow to myself. It makes me hate Vitaly just a little more, but somehow, also a little less.
He catches the tear with his thumb and rubs it into my cheek. “Mila, there isnothingwrong with you.” His eyes move to my lips as he lets out a heavy breath. “You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’retenacious. Loyal to a fault… You can throw knives and beat the shit out of grown men.” He chuckles lightly, his lips lifting higher on one side.
When he pushes back hair behind my ear, another tear falls, but I’m not so sure I feel sad. I don’t know what I feel. But I know I want him to keep talking.
“You’re awarrior,” Vitaly continues, his lips flattening to match the seriousness in his voice. “I’m so sorry I didn’t give youa chance to show me who you were… But at the same time, I’m grateful you didn’t have to see who I was.”
“I heard all about you,” I whisper, though I’m not sure why. He flinches like all the stories must be bad, must reveal the monster he believes he was. Or is.
Nikita blames him for his brother’s—Vitaly’s father’s—death.
Does Vitaly?
I frown. Of course he does.
“People say you were sickeningly charming. And funny. And sure, selfish, but impossibly fun to be around. Basically, the opposite of me.”
He seems to try to smile, but it’s sad. “I wouldn’t say that description fits me anymore.”
I know. We aren’t friends, and I didn’t know him before, but I can see that he’s hardened. So am I. And though I never knew him before, I can guess that I like this version better. Or at least I can tolerate this version better.
My eyes wander past Vitaly as I think about Alexa. About what she must think. Does she like this version better?
“We didn’t have sex.”
I bring my eyes, narrowed in confusion, back to Vitaly.
“Just like everyone else, she wanted to know why I came back. Apparently, Nikita isn’t a peach to work with. She offered me the Italians’ support.”
“What did you tell her?”
“The truth.”
I search his amber eyes for exactly what he just said… The truth. When I find it, my breath catches. All at once, it makes sense to me why Alik said to show my pain. For this. For this look in his eyes. Forthe truth.
And all at once, I hope with everything I have that Alik isn’t watching. Can’t hear the words I speak next.
“You really did come back for me.”
He nods without hesitation.
“But…” I shake my head. “You don’t even know me.”
“My father believed he did,” Vitaly says, his voice certain, like that’s truly enough of a reason. “And for once in my life, I didn’t want to disappoint him.”
He didn’t want to disappoint him.
My heart squeezes, but it isn’t for myself. It’s for Vitaly. All the pain I swim in is reflected in his eyes. He looks achingly handsome, but he also looks like he hasn’t had a full night of sleep in a decade. He told me this reasoning once before, but I didn’t believe him. Now I don’t know how those eyes could ever lie.