Page 60 of Vitaly

When I turn to head back toward Alik, weight topples on my shoulders.

Vitaly stands with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the brick wall of the church. His face is blank as he watches me.

“Nikita sentyou? Really?” Vitaly shakes his head. “Does he ever stop being cruel?”

For once, it isn’t defensiveness that flares. My cheeks inflame with embarrassment while I stand in shame.

Nikita pushed it too far tonight. Vitaly’s right, it was cruel. But even worse than that, it was for nothing. He only wanted to humiliate me to show Vitaly that he can’t be stopped. That I belong to Nikita. It was his fucked up way of marking his territory. But he didn’t need to because Vitaly would much rather fuck the blonde, married traitor than think of me.

“Was it hard for you to see him be mean?” I mockingly frown. “Is that why you needed to fuck your troubles away?”

He sighs and takes me in. I’m wearing black pants and a black turtleneck sweater, an outfit so obvious of my intentions to spy, I wouldn’t bother lying even if Alik hadn’t told me to give myself up.

“I think…” Vitaly begins then hesitates. “It would be harder to watch him hurt you if you weren’t an active participant in his games. As it stands, it’s mildly displeasing.”

My composure was hardened, impressively so, but hearing his words makes it snap like a boulder falling on a twig.

My shoulders sink, along with the tiny bit of pride I’ve kept close to my heart. It dissolves into the puddle of melted sorrow on the concrete.

Nine years. Nine years of heavy sorrow fills the bottoms of my feet then rises like water until I’m submerged in it.

I’m strong. I’m so strong. I know I am. I’veforcedmyself to be, but something about this man makes me feel so weak. Sopitiful. So much worse than Nikita could ever make me feel, and he doesn’t even need to use his fists.

For nine years, I’ve been trying to get over the pain he made me feel when he rejected me, but in a split second, he picks me up and places me back in time.

The back of my throat aches. My nose starts to itch. Telltale signs of tears to come that I nearly forgot how to spot because it’s been so long.

I won’t let them fall. Isworeto myself I’d never let them fall. But it’s so pathetic that Vitaly can make me want to let them. Especially when Nikita never has.Never. At least his cruelty makes sense to me. At least I can see it for what it is. At least it isn’t indifference.

“Why her?” I ask, my voice low and pained.

Vitaly’s face softens, but he doesn’t reply.

“We have a house full of girls. You could have anyone you choose,anyone, but you pick Settimo Gruco’s wife. Why? What is it about her that makes her so special?”

Still, he doesn’t respond.

“That isn’t rhetorical.” I laugh, throwing up a hand as my vision blurs from moisture coating my eyes. “Does she have something the rest of us don’t that makes her so worthy of you entitled, chosen bastards?”

Vitaly pushes off the wall and slowly walks my way. When he gets close, I back up until he stops.

“I’m not entitled, nor am I chosen for anything,” he says, his voice soft, giving off the illusion of kindness before he delivers his next inevitable blow. “I’m a soldier. Remember?”

I roll my eyes. “Just answer my question.”

“Alexa is an old friend. There’s nothing magical about her that you can’t see.”

“Bullshit,” I sneer, following it up with a bitter laugh.

“Mila…”

“Just tell me why.” My tone sounds more like a plea than a command as I find myself taking a step closer to Vitaly. My chest aches as my lip trembles. “Why wasn’t I enough for you? How could you tell in only a few seconds that I wasn’t good enough, buttwo differentheirs to power have seen Alexa Volcov as worthy? Am I not pretty? Am I?—”

“Mila, stop.” Vitaly takes my arms, but I jerk away from his touch.

“Just tell me!”

His eyes are wide, like I’m worrying him. I can feel myself diving into hysteria but can’t stop it. I can’t stop the rush of emotion from sweeping me there. When my mouth opens, Vitaly covers it with his palm and holds me firmly while I try to pry him off.

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