Page 58 of The Grief We Hold

One of the old ladies at the club once said to me Hallie would send me signs, and boy, did she love rainbows.

“If you’re trying to tell me something, Hals, I’m gonna need clearer instructions.”

When I reach Raven, she’s still looking at it.

I lower the window. “Get in the truck, Blue.”

Raven glances over her shoulder. I wish she hadn’t because it gives me a close-up view of the devastation I caused on her face. Then she shocks the shit out of me by ignoring me and storming off down the hill.

Takes me all of two seconds to catch back up to her.

“I said get in the truck.”

She ignores me again, her face straight forward.

“Fuck me,” I mutter. My stomach growls, and I realize just how much I wish I’d shut my face and eaten the damn breakfast.

This time, I drive past her, pull to a halt, and jump out of the truck. Instead of asking, I pick her up, hoisting her over my shoulder.

“Wraith,” she cries, her fists slamming into my back. Her bag drops to the ground. It’ll be muddy, but I don’t care.

After yanking the passenger door open, I drop her into the seat. Her hands are clenched into fists, and her lips are pursed like she’s sucking on a lemon.

“Stay there.” I slam the door shut and lock it to make a point.

Then I grab her bag from the wet dirt and throw it onto the back seat as I climb into the truck.

“You walked away from me in the clubhouse, you walked away from me a second time just now—there won’t be a third time.”

She glances my way. “There will if you carry on being an asshole. Just drive.”

Other than the time I cheated, Hallie always apologized. Didn’t matter whose fault it was. She’d apologize to get us back on track. Sometimes made me feel like a shit because I’d let her. Seemed easier than having to dig within myself to search for what had me behaving any kind of way.

I kinda like that Raven doesn’t let me off. From the get-go, she’s called me out.

She turns to face the window and worries her lower lip between her finger and thumb. Simply thinking about kissing those lips of hers again gives me a boner.

I do as she says and start the ride to her apartment. “You need me to grab Fen on the way?”

“I don’t need you to do anything except shut up and stop making this truck ride any more awkward than it needs to be.”

The corner of my lip twitches in the fixing of a smile, but I hide it.

By the time I pull up in front of her place, I’ve managed to bury it. I jump out of the truck and walk around to her door, but by the time I do, she’s already opened it. In her haste to leave, she almost tumbles to the asphalt, but I catch her, holding her close to my body before I lower her to the ground.

“I’d prefer it if you just left me alone for a little while,” she says. “I don’t deserve you treating me like shit now that you’ve had sex with me. There’s got to be other coffee shops or diners you can go to for now. Or if you need to see Margie, go when I’m not on shift.”

Her eyes are filled with defiance, but she nibbles on her lower lip nervously. The contrast affects me. I come a step closer to admitting I like both sides of her.

“Never said I wasn’t a dick, Blue.” I reach for the edges of the braid that hangs over her shoulder. As it slips through my fingers, I recall how her hair felt the night before.

She bats my hand from her face. “Did you have to be a dick so publicly?”

The words are filled with so much anguish, I can’t stand it. I cup her cheeks and kiss her, losing my mind in the process. She’s warm, sweet, and so fucking short, I have to stoop to reach her mouth.

“Why the fuck can’t I stop kissing you?” I mutter against them.

Then her palms, small as they are in comparison to my own, shove me away.

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