Page 19 of The Grief We Hold

Each step performed gingerly, with Wraith’s eyes on me.

Slowly.

So as not to attract attention.

And that makes my mind up. I need to quit this town.

As soon as I make payday. I’m not running out on the money I earned already. And with the paycheck, I’ll be able to open my own bank account and afford somewhere a little nicer for Fen and me.

But I’ll be ready. I won’t unpack or attempt to make where we are any more of a home beyond keeping it clean and organized.

As soon as the money hits my account, we’ll run. I can’t escape one illegal enterprise for another.

Margie hurries into the storeroom. “Butcher didn’t mean no harm by it.”

Flight, fight, or freeze turns into verbal diarrhea. “He meant every word, Margie. You can see who these men are, surely. They could crack my skull as soon as look at me. All I did was my job. I got groped by a man I don’t know and treated to a lecture by a man named Butcher.Butcher!A name I’m sure he didn’t get because of the ways he could cut up a cow carcass.”

Margie’s face changes. “I’ll give you two a minute.”

“Two minutes for what? I don’t need a…”

When I turn to where she’s looking, Wraith stands leaning against the door frame.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

“Ma,” he says when Margie passes him.

My heart thuds oddly in my chest, as though it’s lost its rhythm.

“Axel.” She pats his shoulder. “Be nice.”

Axel. I wonder if that’s his real name. It humanizes him a little to know it, but I’m no less afraid.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I wouldn’t have said those things if I knew you were standing there.”

I see the corner of Wraith’s mouth twitch for the second time. It’s almost like he’s forgotten how to smile. “But you meant them, right?”

“Is my life safer if I lie or tell the truth?” I ask the question to break the tension, but also because I need to understand the rules.

He huffs and folds his arms. “Do you know how to stay out of trouble?”

“I think maybe living somewhere other than here would be a good start.”

Wraith’s eyes trail lazily down my body. It’s in complete contrast to the disdain on the rest of his face. “Not sure the location is the problem.”

“I just need somewhere I can raise Fen quietly and without any fuss. I didn’t mean any disrespect by it.”

He pushes off the door frame and walks up to me. I have to crane my neck to look up at him. There must be at least twelve inches between us. Maybe more. I was the shortest in a short family. “See. Here’s the thing. You have to admit there was an issue to be able to solve it. Smoke meant no harm by putting his hand on you. It was playful. But you not telling him you were uncomfortable meant I had to step in and threaten to break my brother’s hand.”

I shake my head. “And if I’d told him to get his hands off me, what would Smoke have done? Butcher have done? And Smudge…Budge…no, Grudge have done?”

“Smudge?” Wraith says before breaking out into laughter. “Fucking Budge.”

“I’m being serious.”

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