Page 39 of Love Me Fearless

“Suit yourself,” Beth says.

I have to sprint to prep Otis, who seems reluctant to be separated from his breakfast, but thankfully I remember how to tack up. Louisa and I are similar in height, so her saddle is a close fit. The rich scents of leather and sweet alfalfa combine with the musk of animals in my senses as I hurry to get ready.

When I slide into the saddle, the horse lover in me comes alive. I give Otis a squeeze and a click of my tongue to follow Beth down the dirt lane bordering the pasture. In the field to our left, the tractor turns down a row, heading our way, and in the soft morning light,Hutch’s eyes lift to mine. Even from this distance, the shift in his expression makes my breath catch.

Beth glances back, her gaze flicking from her brother to me for an instant before she turns away, her shoulders tight.

Once on the road, I pull up alongside her.

“Saw you at the vigil last night,” Beth says.

I was there with Sofie. Even though I didn’t know Marin very well, a good many of the families are my patients, and because Sofie’s sister Linnea was in the same class as Marin, she knew a lot of them too. I meant what I told Hutch. Grief is so much harder to bear alone. We’ll heal together, as a community.

“I’m glad you were able to be with your friends,” I say.

“The police want to talk to us.”

“They’re probably looking for information. They want to find who did this.”

“Rye had a nightmare last night.” She’s looking straight ahead, her jaw tense.

I’d be surprised if he didn’t, but it adds another layer to what he shared. “Did it scare you?”

Beth gives me an impatient huff, then turns her horse onto the spur heading into the forest. We ride single file, the sunlight filtering through the trees. Otis’s steady gait and the soft squeak of the saddle blends with his easy breaths and the tapping of my contented heart. But when we complete our loop and return to the farm, I can’t help the flutter in my tummy when Hutch comes out of the closest greenhouse, his baseball hat flipped backward. He hasn’t shaved yet today, giving his handsome face a rough edge. His sharp green eyes track us for a moment before he hoists a bag of feed over his shoulder and heads off to some new chore.

Beth shoots me a glare, startling me back to the horse I’m sitting on.

“It’s cool you want to help us,” Beth says, dismounting and gathering the reins to lead Taffy into the barn. “But don’t you dare break his heart again.”

A replyis buzzing on my tongue but I bite it back. I don’t understand what she’s getting at, but arguing about it won’t get me anywhere. Confused, I watch her disappear into the barn.

I’m just finishing grooming Otis when Hutch appears outside the stall cradling one of his mom’s famous thrift store mugs, Toby at his heels, tail wagging. “I’ll trade you. Coffee for your house key.”

I give him a look. “Why do you want my house key?”

“So I can put in a deadbolt today. I’m also going to get a dowel for that back slider.”

“Deal.”

Surprise flashes in his eyes as he hands me the coffee mug. “You feelin’ okay?”

I take a slow slurp of the coffee. It’s bold but flat, the way Louisa’s coffee has always been. She wouldn’t be caught dead spending extra money on gourmet beans.

“It’s nice of you to offer, and it would make me feel safer.” And I might have had a nightmare last night, too.

He’s still looking at me like I’ve sprouted two heads. “All right then.”

I take another sip of the coffee. “I took my spare key out of service last night, so I have it with me.”

He frowns. “What spare key?”

“The one I keep in the garden.” I polish off the coffee. “Don’t worry, it’s so hidden nobody would find it. It’s one of those fake rock ones. Every time I’ve had to use it, it takes me at least three tries to find it.”

He takes the mug and pulls open the stall door for me.

We walk from the barn side by side. The scent of the freshly turned dirt hits my nostrils. Earthy and rich. This close to Hutch, I also get a hit of sun-warmed cotton and the woodsy spice that makes him smell so good.

My belly flutters.

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