Page 119 of Love Me Fearless

“We’ll make time.”

“When was the last time you were on a horse?”

He smiles against my cheek. “Don’t even think of ditching me today. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

I weave my fingers with his and tug him closer. “I like that plan.”

“What can I make you for breakfast?” he asks.

“Toast, scrambled eggs, coffee.”

He kisses my shoulder and rolls away. “Coming right up.”

After slipping on a pair of sweats, he disappears through the door. I force myself from the bed. The chilly air turns my skin to gooseflesh. My teeth chatter as I hurry into a cozy hoodie and a pair of leggings. The quicker I can get warm, the quicker I can stuff back the memories of last night. It was cold and dark in that basement.

Did Jeremy plan to kill me like the others?

The whir of my espresso machine from the kitchen snaps me back to the present. I step into my fuzzy hippo slippers and stop at the bathroom to wash my face. The warm water and the soothing lavender scent of my soap threaten to bring me to tears for the second time this morning.

Jeremy won’t get near me again.

I’m safe, I’m safe, I’m safe.

I will never take the simple freedoms I have for granted.

Hutch has already set the table, and when I turn around to thank him, he presses a vanilla latte into my hands, then kisses my forehead and spins away to the stove.

My fingers shake as I lift the mug to my lips. The hint of sweet vanilla lights up my tastebuds. I take another sip but a tear breaks loose, tumbling down my cheek.

What is wrong with me?

Hutch glances up from where he’s loading two plates with our scrambled eggs. His eyes fill with compassion as he sets the pan down and hurries over. In a flash, he’s set my coffee aside so he can wrap me in his arms.

“It’s okay,” Hutch says, rocking me gently.

“I hate being scared.” More tears spill past my cheeks.

“I know,” he says. “But try not to fight it, okay? You’re healing from something terrifying. It’s going to take some time.”

“I don’t like that, either.”

He sighs and rubs my back. “I get it. You like to push through hard stuff and you’re good at it. But those skills aren’t going to serve you well in this situation. You’re gonna have to develop some patience with yourself.”

I close my eyes and release a slow breath. “I’ll try.”

“Attagirl.”

I smile into his chest. “Thank you for making me breakfast.”

He kisses the top of my head. “Let’s eat, then I’m going to kick your ass on this run.”

It’searly evening by the time we’ve completed our chores and the trail ride I was craving at Moonbeam Farm. I’m definitely feeling stronger and more like myself, but there are shadows lurking inside me. They rise up in the quiet moments, the times when my mind goes idle. Hutch said to be patient with myself, and I’m trying, but it’s not easy. Patience is not a virtue I’ve cultivated very well.

I should be fine, but I don’t feel that way yet.

When we stop in to visit with Louisa, she and Beth have just finished the first batch of strawberry jam and are prepping the second.

“Can we help?” I ask, rolling up my sleeves.

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