Page 68 of Cups of You

He nodded. “I know. I just—”

“Look,” Amber cut him off. “I like you, and I’m pretty fucking sure you like me as well, so if you want to try a real relationship with me, all you have to do is say yes and leave it at that.”

Benjamin looked down and clasped his hands together. Amber’s stomach clenched and she knew she needed to get out of there. This was not at all how she had hoped their reunion would go, but building a relationship took two and right now, Benjamin was giving her nothing at all.

“Right.”

Amber chuckled and it sounded as humorless as she felt.

“You know Ben, it’s okay to be selfish sometimes.”

Amber didn’t wait for his response. She turned and walked out not stopping until she was safely in her car and alone with what felt a lot like heartbreak.

TWENTY-FIVE

The sound of the door closing echoed in Benjamin’s mind for the rest of the day. He hadn’t known how to respond to Amber’s parting words, but now as he made his way home, he replayed them over again.

Olivia had come to the back room after Amber left and after taking one look at him, gave Benjamin a hug. He had snapped out of his paralysis then and though everything in him screamed to follow Amber and answer her question with a resounding yes, he calmly walked back out to finish working. That he wanted a relationship with her should never have been a question. He wanted more than just a relationship, he wanted to build a life with her. But the drama of his own still held him back. The knowledge of that and the look on Amber’s face when she left kept him in a low mood and not even the sight of Randy and Sam’s car in his driveway was enough to change it.

When he walked into the house, Randy came around the corner. The smile on his face dropped when he saw Benjamin.

“Hey Liv, why don’t you go help your Aunt Sam out in the kitchen. I need to talk to your dad.”

Olivia quickly moved away. “Gladly. Maybe you can get him to snap out of the funk he’s in.”

Benjamin winced and kicked himself for not being able to push aside his feelings to keep Olivia from worrying.

“Hey, none of that shit,” Randy said. He pushed Benjamin’s shoulder herding him back out onto the front porch and letting the door bang shut behind him. “Alright. You’ve been weird since the whole thing with the ex, and I think I can speak for everyone when I say you need to knock it the fuck off.”

Benjamin frowned and moved to sit in one of the rocking chairs. “Knock what off?”

“This,” Randy replied waving a hand over Benjamin before settling in the other chair. “This weird morose guy whose smile looks more like a grimace of pain.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize man, just talk so we can fix whatever the fuck is broken, and I can have my annoyingly optimistic friend back.”

Benjamin huffed and looked out in the darkness. They sat quietly together as he tried to make sense of his scrambled-up feelings. “Amber came by the café today.”

“Oh?”

He nodded. “Yeah. She asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship with her.”

“And I take it you said yes I want you to have all my babies?”

“No. I didn’t say anything.” Benjamin saw Randy’s eyes widen.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Randy exclaimed. He stared at Benjamin and the look on his face had Benjamin feeling even worse. “You’re not kidding. You really left her hanging like that? Are you insane?”

Benjamin groaned and leaned his head back against the back of the chair. “I wanted to say yes; you know that. But I just kept thinking about the drama with Liv’s mom and then about how Liv might feel neglected if I started acting like her mom and focusing on other people instead of her.”

“First of all, your ex is an idiot, and you are not so no worries about acting like her.”

“Shh, Randy.” He peeked through the window to make sure they weren’t being overheard. “I don’t want Liv to hear you talk about her mom like that.”

Randy rolled his eyes but when he continued, he spoke softer than before. “Second of all, Olivia herself has begged you to get out and date so I’m pretty sure she would be ecstatic if you and Amber made things official.”

“You don’t know that for sure.”

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