Page 45 of Whispers in the Dark

Holidays... Decorating... Yuletide Joy...

None of those things were me. They were Brynn, though. And in my own foolishness, I’d fallen under her spell. Seeing her at the office, then later here, after all the decorating had been completed, she’d been so happy.

Her face... Those eyes... That smile...

It’d all been worth it to me, then. Not so much now. All reminders were officially gone from this place, but they wouldn’t leave my head. Her place had been equally as festive, although a bit more quaint. I’d been enjoying the photographs I’d seen of hers until...

“Blair! Why do you continue to haunt me?”

She was dead by my own hands, so of course she wouldn’t answer me back. I didn’t need her to as I already knew what she’d tell me.“You told me that you’d make me pay, yet the one suffering is now you.”

And she was right. I slammed my balled up fist down onto the marble countertop, then scrubbed the other one down my face. A yawn slowly escaped me at that moment, and I knew her voice in my head was nothing more than jet lag. Besides the time difference between Japan and California, I hadn’t slept in days.

It was all that I needed right now, even if I was doubtful I’d actually succumb to my exhaustion. I needed to try, though. After slipping out of my clothes, I began running water knowing I could scrub my damn hands raw, yet never remove the invisible layer of blood coating them.

Twenty minutes later, I had tried to no avail. There were two options. I could drink myself into oblivion like half of San Francisco was doing, or I could try to get some rest. Deciding on the latter, I moved back into the bedroom, then over to my tall dresser. While I used to sleep in the nude, I no longer did since my sleepwalking incidents began to occur once more when I’d been in Japan. I knew a lot had to do with whatever this was between Brynn and me. I’d left that night in such a hurry, and I hadn’t seen her in person since.

In fact, I barely even spoke to her outside of the various conference calls we’d both been on. There was nothing to say. Even if I allowed myself to feed into the delusion of having anything with anyone, it could never be her. How could I takeher bed and bend her to my will knowing I would see her sister, who I shared a similar type of relationship with? And it wasn’t just an ex, but one whose life I had viciously ended.

I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and tugged them on, before slamming the drawer shut. I then spent the next several minutes making sure my room was as dark as could be before I fell face down onto the bed. That alone brought back memories of my sister pouncing on me as soon as I did. Not wanting to focus on Aria as I was about to embark on another year I’d robbed from her, I rolled over onto my back and stared up into the darkness of my ceiling. Eventually I fell asleep as I had hoped.

It didn’t last long, though. Not even a half hour later, I bolted upright in bed, then stared toward the windows. Usually darkness greeted me, but not tonight. I could see Brynn in front of them wearing nothing but a string of clear Christmas lights highlighting the marks I’d left on her.

A groan escaped, and before I knew it, I was on my feet. I’d headed toward the mirage, and finally encountered the stormproof glass of my floor-to-ceiling windows. The hard barrier should’ve returned me to my senses, but it did little more than anger me.

Forcing myself back to bed, I laid down and closed my eyes once more. Additional memories came rushing back to me. I could see Brynn on the couch with her legs underneath her as she talked to me via video chat. I also saw her rushing into the lingerie store, and how she’d smiled at me unaware that I was the one who’d sent her there to begin with. Then, there were the many nights I’d had her at Lotus, and the days I’d had her in my office.

Bent over a chair... My desk... Tied to a spanking table... A pillar...

My pulse was racing, and my heart was beating like a drum in my ear, only it wasn’t mine. I’d finally remembered the nightshe’d fallen asleep in this very place. I’d heard her heart beat in her slumber, and I’d been envious of how that must feel. Although I’d once been as carefree as she was, I no longer remembered what it felt like to not be driven by fear, and not the kind I could slay.

I wasn’t afraid of another person or entity. Hell, even the prospect of imprisonment didn’t scare me as much as my own mind did. I was terrified of the man I had once been... still was... and would continue to be because there was a monster inside of me clawing to break free again.

I won’t let me get me.

I’d told myself that numerous times over the years, only to remain in this twisted universe. To the outside eye, I had everything together. Even those at Lotus tonight had no idea about the type of man I really was. I knew, though. Yes, I was a CEO of a multi-billion dollar technology company, architect of Olympus, and co-creator of Lotus, but there was another part I kept hidden as I’d once promised my father I’d do.

And, I needed to pull myself together before I broke that promise, too. I’d promised Aria that no harm would ever come to her, and something very similar to Blair. I’d made no such vows to Brynn, at least not aloud. I’d felt a certain protectiveness over her since the night I first laid eyes on her, and it was the reason I had broken every rule I’d ever made and brought her on at BT.

Grabbing a pillow, I covered my head with it, and it wasn’t long until I had drifted back off to sleep. Again, it didn’t last long. The only difference from my last attempt this evening was the brisk breeze blowing across me and the coldness of the wooden planks beneath my feet.

My eyes flew open, and hoping to be somewhere near home, I looked around in confusion as I tried to think about where I was. The place seemed familiar, but I couldn’t quite piece together where I was. At least not until I turned to see a door. My pulsequickened, and I looked around. Sure enough, I was at the very last place I needed to be. Now or ever.

As I tried to turn to flee, it was like a magnet pulling me ever closer to the door. I tried resisting the urge to raise my hand, but it moved on its own. No, I couldn’t be here. I needed to leave. As I closed my eyes and willed my body to cooperate with my mind for once, my body tensed immediately. My eyes flew open, and I brought my fist to her door.

I needed to see her... I wanted to throttle her for the duplicity... Neither mattered because I knew what would be done. The only thing that could be. As I gave in to the beast inside of me, my hand raised again.

32.Brynn

Ipopped my head from underneath the covers, ears straining. There it was again. Three brisk raps on my front door.

“Who the fuck is knocking on my door? So help me, it had better not be another drunk partier from that damn bar, or I’ll call… what in the world?”

One glance at the security camera live feed had my brow furrowing in disbelief. Adrian Benedict was on my front porch and he looked like he really needed to get hold of me. His expression was mixed, as all of his expressions usually were when something concerned me. He looked annoyed and also slightly disoriented.

“You picked a hell of a night to come over,” I grumbled, quickly pulling on shorts to go with the oversized shirt I was wearing. Since Lug Nut wasn’t here, the man would be able to actually enter the house. Had the dog been here, he would have alerted me much sooner, and he would not let Adrian get close to me. We hadn’t parted on good terms, and Lug Nut had a very long memory.

The knocking continued to the point where I had to speak to the man through the camera app.

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