Page 5 of Desirous

“What about me?”

Her dark eyes filled with kindness look into mine as she explains, “You were such a handsome child, and even when your brother and your cousins went through their awkward stages, you never did. I used to joke with your parents that you were the chosen one with how easily things came to you. Looks, personality, confidence—you never lacked in any of those areas. On top of that, you were smart and charming, two traits others have to work to perfect and often never do. In many ways, I was waiting with more than a little apprehension for this day to come because I wasn’t sure how you’d handle it.”

Lowering my gaze to the floor, I say, “You mean the day I became miserable? Because that’s how I feel. Miserable. I’ve never felt like this, and I don’t know how to fix myself or the situation causing me to feel this way.”

“That tells me it must be a woman because nothing else would make you so unhappy.”

I blow the air out of my lungs and let my shoulders sag. “Okay, fine. It’s a woman. I don’t know why I can’t just forget her. It’s not like we were together forever, and it’s not like we were good together. I mean, the woman started off knowing me by saying she couldn’t stand me.”

For some reason, my grandmother finds that amusing. With a laugh, she says, “And yet you charmed her into falling for you, just like with all the others.”

I wouldn’t say that’s how it went. As far as I’m concerned, I used very little charm with Kat. If anything, I think her attitude toward me simply thawed enough to see I wasn’t the monster she had made me out to be. After that, all we had in common simply made getting together natural.

“Unfortunately, Grandma, my charm isn’t going to solve this problem. She hates me. She thinks I’m a selfish bastard who she never wants to see again.”

Alexandria March waves away that idea like it’s nothing she’s terribly worried about. Lucky her. She has no idea how sure Kat sounded in the studio parking lot last week.

“You’re just like me, Alex. It’s no coincidence that we have nearly identical names. No man could ever tell me no, just like women love to be around you. It’s charisma. People want to like you. Use that to your advantage like you always have. You’ll see. It’ll work.”

Again, I let out a heavy sigh, wishing she was right. “Not this time. This one is immune to my charms. I’ve tried to call her. I tried texting. She won’t answer.”

Suddenly, my grandmother changes right before my eyes, and I see judgment coming from her. “Did you do something you shouldn’t be forgiven for, Alex?”

As much as I’d love to be able to answer unequivocally no, that’s not the truth. I’ve never been able to lie to mygrandmother, though, so I might as well just tell her what I did and get it over with.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her. Honest. The producers of that reality show accused her of poisoning someone, and I knew she didn’t do that, so I told them so. I could have done more to convince them, and that’s why she hates me because they threw her off the show, and now she has no chance of winning the million-dollar prize.”

“Did you do that because you want to win?”

The matriarch of my family never has been the type to pull any punches. I guess expecting her to go easy on me because I’m her favorite grandson was too much to ask this time.

“I do want to win that money because I would love to have my own restaurant and not have to wait for my father and Kane to retire, but mostly, I didn’t say more because if I had told the producers how I knew she couldn’t have been the one to poison the food, we both would have been thrown off the show.”

“Why is that?”

Looking away so I don’t have to meet her gaze when I admit I was Kat’s alibi because we were in bed together all night, I say, “Because in the contract we signed, there’s a clause that says there is to be no fraternizing among contestants. How I know she didn’t poison anyone is the textbook definition of fraternizing.”

“Oh. I see. You know, if I was this woman, I’d be angry with you too. That said, I still believe you can fix this. Go to her. Tell her how you feel. Just be honest with her.”

As images of Kat throwing a cast iron frying pan at me flash through my brain, I shake my head. “It isn’t that easy, Grandma.”

She wraps her arms around me and pulls me close for a hug. In my ear, she whispers, “Yes, it is, honey. Never forget that. When you find what you love, then everything falls into place. Ithappened with you when you knew you wanted to be a chef, and it will happen with this woman, if you truly care for her.”

As she gets up to leave, all I can think is I wish it was that easy.

“Now quit sulking and come down and eat some of your aunt’s peach cobbler. You know how everyone gets if the family chef won’t eat something they made. I’ll have to hear about it until the day I die.”

“Okay, Grandma. I’ll be down in a few.”

“Good. And then when you’re done making Abbi happy, you can leave to go make amends with this woman so you don’t have to stay here and explain to your parents and everyone else what’s wrong. You know how nosy everyone in this family can be.”

I can’t help but smile as she walks out of the room. The nosiness starts with the head of the family, and she knows it.

Maybe she’s right. Maybe it won’t be impossible to convince Kat that I’m sorry. Maybe she’s already cooled down enough to forgive me.

CHAPTER THREE

Kat

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