Page 1 of Desirous

CHAPTER ONE

Alex

The entire Marchand Jackson clan is here at my grandmother’s for one of our family get-togethers to celebrate something or another. Knowing these people, it’s a party to commemorate the wind blowing. My family can’t pass up a chance to gather all of us up at this house and eat and drink like we aren’t sure we’re going to make it to tomorrow.

Normally, I don’t mind these impromptu events, but today, the last thing I want to do is hang out with my family and have to make conversation with them. So I’ve found myself a nice spot down near the water where I hope no one will bother me.

That’s a pipe dream, of course. None of these people could leave someone alone if they had a gun held to their head. It’s just not in their nature.

Closing my eyes, I let the sun warm my face as I listen to the gentle sound of the water lapping against the sand. I’ll have to move my spot in a little while, but until then, I’m enjoying nature alone, the way I want to be today.

I hear them all laughing and toasting something or another. Liam and Mia probably just walked in. Everyone gets very excited when a star shows up to the party.

Not that I blame them. She’s a big deal. Liam hit the motherlode when he got together with her. Beauty, money, fame—she’s got everything going for her. He’s a lucky guy.

Cash and Cade are too. Their girlfriends are both beautiful and sweet and crazy about them. I’m happy they found the ones they’re meant to be with for a lifetime.

Until recently, that’s all their happiness meant to me. It was a good for them kind of thing. I didn’t want that for my life, but hey, if they wanted to settle down, who was I to say they shouldn’t? I planned on having to wear a tux a few times in the near future and that was it.

And then I met Kat, and everything changed.

I don’t even know when it happened. Somewhere between her expressing her loathing for me at the beginning of the reality show and the moment I stood there in the parking lot outside the studio watching her drive away after telling me she hated me and never wanted to see me again, I fell for her.

I push that thought down, hidden deep inside me so I don’t have to think about it. I didn’t fall for her. That’s ridiculous. I’m a guy who plans to spend the rest of his life enjoying it, and that doesn’t include falling in love with some woman whose go-to emotion seems to be misery.

So she hates me. Welcome to the club. I can name at least ten women who said they hated me at some point of another, usually once they wanted things to get more serious and I headed toward the door.

Go ahead, hate me. What does it matter?

My shoulders slowly inch up toward my ears as I think about Kat, so I force them down and tilt my head left and then right to crack my neck. Talk about stress. That woman comes with aboatload of it. Even when she’s nowhere nearby, I can’t help but be a stressed-out mess merely thinking about her.

If this is what it’s like when you care about someone, the world can keep it. I haven’t had a moment’s happiness since she drove away. Why would anyone willingly want to put themselves through this for anyone?

I sense someone coming up behind my chair to interrupt my perfectly relaxing time and open my eyes to see Cade standing next to me. He has a look of intention in his eyes, like he’s been sent on a mission. Likely by my mother.

“Did you come to sit quietly and enjoy the sound of the water as it rolls in?” I ask, hoping he’s like he used to be and understands the concept of not wanting to talk.

“No. I came to see why you’re sitting down here like some curmudgeonly old man who doesn’t want to socialize with anyone he’s related to,” he says, answering my question with the only words I didn’t want to hear.

I twist my face into a hard grimace and pray to God he understands that means go away. But he doesn’t. Instead, he plops down onto the sand next to me and draws his knees up like he’s getting ready for some long chat between us.

The chairs that usually accompany mine aren’t here for a reason. You’d think my family could read the room. Or the beach, as it were.

My best friend never used to be so unwilling or unable to see when I wasn’t in the mood to talk. That’s what made him such an incredible friend. Cade could tell just by my expression if he should back off and give me some space, but ever since he got together with Hailey, it’s like he completely lost all ability to understand me.

That’s what women do for you.

“So are you going to tell me what the hell is wrong, or do I have to bring out the big guns?” he asks with a smile.

I narrow my eyes in disgust and let my gaze roll over his arms. “Big guns? I’m not sure I’d call what you’re packing the big guns.”

Even though I know what he means when he says that, I can’t help but bust his balls a little after he intentionally interrupted my time alone down here. That’s what you get for ignoring the bro code, dude.

I get a frown for my teasing and then an eyeroll. “I’m talking about your mother, shithead. She’s all concerned up there on the porch and wanted to come down to see if you’re okay. I told her I’d do it since I knew you wouldn’t want to tell your mother what the hell is wrong.”

As if that helps me any.

“I don’t want to tell you either, so feel free to go back to hanging out with your girlfriend and all the other happy March and Jackson people. I’ll be fine down here.”

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