Page 10 of Second Down Scrooge

Christmas is a happy occasion for some and filled with painful reminders for others. I guess I fall into the second category.

Call me a grinch, I guess. But Kelly, her house, and our daughter are the combination that makes me want to be less of a grinch and more of an elf.

“Mia’s in the playpen in my bedroom,” she says, interrupting my thoughts about Christmas. “I’ll go get her. How, uh…how late are you planning on hanging out? Or are you taking her somewhere?”

“I was actually hoping we could all have dinner together tonight.” I can’t wait to tell her my news, but I didn’t want to walk in and just blurt it out. I’m holding out for the right moment.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t.” She twists her lips apologetically, and a little color rushes into her cheeks. “I, uh…I actually have a date tonight.”

A…a date?

She’s going on adate?

All the wind deflates from my sails, and at the same time, it feels like a punch to my gut.

“Oh,” I say, and I don’t bother hiding my disappointment.

“It’s just a first date,” she says, sort of backtracking a little defensively. “This sweet old lady from the bakery insisted I go out with her grandson. I don’t even know what he looks like.” She offers a nervous giggle, but I can’t tell if she’s nervous about the date or nervous to tell me about it. I hope it’s the latter.

I clear my throat. It doesn’t change the fact that she agreed to the date, and that pokes at me harder than I care for it to. “Oh,” I say again, suddenly without words. “Well, uh, have fun, I guess.”

“Thanks.” She offers a tight smile. “I’ll just go grab Mia for you.”

She disappears into her bedroom, and I wish I could follow her, but I can’t. It’s not my place, and especially not when she’s going on a date with someone else.

I haven’t gone on a date with anyone else. How could she?

It’s a clear reminder that she doesn’t want me the way I still want her. She doesn’t have the same sorts of feelings for me that I have for her.

It’s a gut punch.

It should make me rethink my priorities. It should force me to move on.

But I don’t want to. My priorities are Mia, Kelly, and football.

She returns a few seconds later with Mia, and I press my lips into a smile through the sadness I feel that her mother is going on a date tonight with another man. Maybe she’ll fall in love with him. Maybe they’ll get married.

Maybe Mia will call himDadsomeday, too.

The thought breaks my heart.

I’m Dad. I don’t want to share her with someone else. I don’t want to share Kelly, either, but what the hell can I do?

Chapter 6: Kelly Kaplan

Vodka Shots in the Pantry

Three Weeks Until Christmas

I’m still in my bathrobe when I carry Mia out to Austin.

“Dada!” she squeals when she sees him, and she reaches out of my arms for him.

She’s a total daddy’s girl. Sheloveshim, and she loves spending time with him. Her first word wasn’tmamaeven though I’m with her essentially twenty-four-seven.

It wasdada. Dada getsallthe glory while mama doesallthe hard work.

It warms my heart when I see them together, even though I’m trying to keep Austin at a distance.

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