Page 46 of The Doctor's Surprise Family

“Why, uh…” I gestured at Blake’s kitchen floor. It was covered in boxes all stacked up in piles, each with a straw on top, with a coupon taped to it.

Blake shrugged, sheepish. “We built us some castles. See, they’ve got flags.”

“The kingdom of green grapes, twenty cents off.”

“You mocking the glorious kingdom of Boxton?” Blake got out the cake and wove through the boxes. He cut me a slice, then poured some milk to go with it. “Tell you what, you eat that while I clear up these boxes. Then I’ll show you where your room is, or the shower if you want.”

I dug into my carrot cake and let out a moan — fluffy, delicious, just the right amount of sweet. Blake set about tidying Oli’s kingdom away. He’d let Oli empty out his entire pantry, everything that came in a tin or a box. Everything you could stack up, Oli had stacked. I could see Blake was tired as he rounded up soup cans, catching a yawn in one hand, stocking shelves with the other. He caught me watching and smiled.

“I forgot to ask you, how was your day?”

I sipped my milk. “Busy. We had this whole family, this drowsy driver, drove his SUV into his neighbor’s garage.”

Blake looked confused. “And the neighbor got mad?”

“I’d assume he did when he got home. When he found the huge hole in his garage.”

“Oh, he droveintoit, as in, he crashed. I thought you meant he just parked there, y’know, by mistake.”

“No. His wife said he drifted off-road, over the curb and over two lawns, and into the side of his neighbor’s garage. She was screamingwake up, and he kind of did, but not fast enough he could stop himself crashing. Dr. Muller says drowsy drivers are as bad as drunk drivers. You don’t hear much about them outside the ER, but they’re out there. They’re snoozing. They’re hitting your house.”

“You think that’s bad, we had this guy my first year — this resident, what was his name?” Blake paused, can in hand, brow furrowed in thought. “Hobart or Hubert, something like that. Anyway, he flamed out, but before he did, he fell asleep in the middle of a bone graft.”

I spluttered laughter. “Hewhat?”

“He drooled into the patient, right through his mask. At least, that’s what Reynolds said. He saw the whole thing.”

“He fell asleep insurgery?How would you even…”

“I guess he was standing there waiting to close, and he dozed off right on his feet. A week later, he was out of there. Psych discharge, I think.”

“Muller made me lie down one time because she caught me yawning. She says tired doctors miss things, but that’s just, that’s…” I groped for the word, but I was too tired to find it. “I mean, I’m not even a surgeon, but I always get this… this hit of adrenaline when I’m with a patient. Even if it’s only a kid with a cold, or my tenth twisted ankle since I started my shift. I can’t even imagine falling asleep.”

“Showtime,” said Blake. “That’s what I call that. That rush when you go in, and a life’s in your hands.”

I took another bite of cake and washed it down with more milk. “It was the same thing with Oli, when he was first born. I could be dead asleep and I’d hear him cry, and this switch would flip and I’d be wide awake — is that his hungry cry? Is he scared? Is he sick? Then he’d go back to sleep and I’d crash as well.”

Blake set the last box back in his place. He frowned down at me. “You’re shivering. You cold?”

“A little,” I said. “I think from the milk.”

“Hold on one sec.” Blake went through to the den and came back with a blanket. He draped it over my shoulders and took a seat next to mine.

“Listen, I wanted to say to you, today was great. Oli was awesome, but…” He trailed off, and a sick chill walked down my spine. This was the part when the other shoe dropped. The part where Blake upped and broke Oli’s heart.Oli was awesome, but I can’t take this on. I have my own life. Oli’s too much.The cake I’d eaten sat heavy in my gut. One more word from Blake, and I thought I’d throw up.

“I had no idea,” he said, and my stomach flipped over. Red rage rose up, and a wave of despair. What would I tell Oli? How could I spin this? How could I make Blake’s abandonment okay?

Blake took my hand. I couldn’t move. I stared at him numbly, wanting to scream. How had I let this happen again? I almost wished Olihadburned his house down, or Blake had yelled at him, or he’d been a jerk. Then, at least Oli’d be glad he was gone. Instead, he’d have this great day to look back on, bubbles and castles and horsey rides. Shit.

“I thought a kid was like, you know, you get them some toys. They play with their toys. You do something else. I had no idea what you do every day, everything you go through, and then you’ve got work.” Blake held my hand in both of his. “Don’t get me wrong. Today was amazing. I’d do it every day if I had the chance. But I put him to bed, and all I could think was, what if I had a shift right now? Or first thing tomorrow? If I had to get up and feed him breakfast, then keep him amused till I left for work? Then I’d get home and he’d need his bath and his story, and my question for you is, whendoyou sleep?”

“When do I… what?” Was this a kiss-off speech, or was it something else? Blake was still smiling, warm and sweet. The look in his eyes was wistful, half-sad. I felt sad as well, and overwhelmingly lonely. Ihadbeen alone so very long now, my days given over to work and to Oli. I barely even saw Joelle anymore, except when we’d meet up before work for coffee.

Blake squeezed my hand tighter. “When do you sleep?”

“When Oli sleeps.” The words came out clipped. “I go to bed early, seven or eight. Unless I work nights. Then I sleep through his nap time. And Mom and Dad help a lot, so we’re okay.”

“I’m so sorry,” said Blake. “I wish I’d been here. I got the smallest of tastes today of how your life must’ve been — and this was an easy day, no tears, no scraped knees. No tantrums, no tummy bugs, nothing but smiles. We had thebestday, and I am wiped.”

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