Page 47 of The Doctor's Surprise Family

I couldn’t take this, not knowing where he was headed. Not one more second. I pulled my hand free. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I want to be now, for whatever you need. I know money’s not — you’re okay on money— but child support is for Oli, and I want him to have it. And I want to be here for him, to be in his life. To be in yours too. To make your lives easier. Whatever you need, you just have to ask.”

The strangest feeling washed over me, joy mixed with dread. I just had to ask? Could I ask him to stay? Could I sayOli needs you back here in the States, and he’d talk to the Army, and they’d send him home? I shivered again, though the blanket was warm. Blake in our lives, how would that even look? Would he want to split custody? Or would we try again? It would be so easy to reach for his hand and tell himcome home, and lean in and kiss him. To fall back into him and back into us, and forget all my loneliness, all my anger and hurt. But hehadhurt me once. He could do it again. He’d broken my heart like no man ever had, and somehow, I’d taped all the shards back together. I couldn’t do that again. No way. I just couldn’t.

“He loves—” My voice broke. I swallowed hard. “Oli loves spending time with you. You did well today. Those giant bubbles… Did he tell you about Buster?”

“About him drinking your bubble mix?” Blake laughed. “Yeah, he did.”

“That was months ago now. A lifetime in kid years. I meant to make it up to him, but it just slipped my mind.”

Blake smiled. “You’re busy. I’m on vacation. I have time to blow bubbles, so don’t beat yourself up.” He took my hand again, and my eyes swam with tears.Thiswas why I’d loved him, how gentle he was. How calm and patient, how understanding. Oli needed a man like him, needed Blake in his life.

“You can watch him again,” I said. “Whenever you’re free.”

“Any day. Every day. As long as I’m here.”

Then, don’t go,I thought.

“Thank you,” I said.

“I should be thankingyoufor letting me try.”

Then let’s try, the two of us. Let’s make it work.

“You’re his father,” I said. “I should get to bed.”

Blake frowned, then he stood. “It’s just down the hall. I put on fresh sheets for you, and extra blankets.”

I headed off down the hall, half-praying he’d stop me, chase me and catch me and hold me to his chest, and say all the things I longed to and couldn’t. But Blake stayed where he was and I shut the door behind me, and stood and stared at the moonlight on the fresh sheets. He’d tucked them in Army-tight, because of course he had. Because that was his life, not me or Oli. I’d be smart to remember that, except, maybe…

Wouldhe come home to us? If I dared ask?

CHAPTER 17

BLAKE

Ididn’t think Claire would be up for Sam’s barbecue, what with Oli and all the late nights she’d been working, but when I called to ask, she was already going.

“You think I’d pass up a chance at adult conversation? Plus, it’s been ages since we all hung out.”

“You and Sam and Joelle? Don’t you all work together?”

“Sort of,” said Claire. “But she’s up in derm, and Sam’s in the morgue. Our paths don’t cross nearly as much as you’d think.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? At least with the morgue?”

Claire laughed at that. “Are you nervous to see them? Not just Sam and Joelle, I mean, but y’know. Everyone.”

I’d been trying not to dwell on it, but yeah. Yeah, I was. Sam had gone all-in on rounding up the old crew, everyone close enough to make the drive. I’d been excited at first to see them again, but when I thought past “hello,” it all fell apart. I hadn’t seen any of these people in years, and the last they’d heard of me, I’d run out on Claire.

“It’ll be fine,” said Claire. “Sam filled them in.”

I wanted to believe her, but I didn’t see how it would be.Iwasn’t fine with the way I’d behaved, cutting myself off from my whole life back here. I’d thrown a tantrum, was what I had done, like Oli might do when he’d had too much sugar. But Oli was three. What was my excuse?

In the end, I needn’t have worried. We rolled up on the party around four that Sunday, and we were about the last to arrive. The beer had been flowing since Sam came off shift, and the atmosphere was pleasantly rowdy.

“Oh,flashback,” yelled someone, when we stepped out back. I peered through mesquite smoke to see who it was.

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