Page 71 of Unlucky You

“I love that you’re committed to showing up for him.” Her voice was soft with admiration.

“I owe him for the time I missed. I want to give him back as much of that as I can.”

Saniya frowned slightly. “You have to stop putting unnecessary weight on your shoulders. You’re a great father and I would bet everything I own he doesn’t believe you owe him anything. He probably doesn’t even understand why you were gone or care beyond you being here now. Kids are forgiving in ways that adults can’t process. Raiden isn’t running a total or keeping count of time you feel you owe. He’s just loving you.”

Her words washed over me in a way that eased the stress I carried from things I was overthinking. She read my thoughts and fears about where I fit into my son's life. She wasn’t competing or jealous. She was finding her position in a world that already existed while claiming a space that wouldn’t disrupt the balance. Saniya wanted to add to our lives. I crossed the room and pressed my forehead to hers. “Thank you.”

When I pulled back, she smiled softly. “You’re welcome. Now go, so you won’t be late.”

Because she was willing to selflessly place his needs above hers, I would work my ass off to ensure Saniya and Raiden never felt inadequate in my life.

After I collected my bag and headed to the door, I paused. “If it’s cool with you, I was thinking maybe it’s time for you to meet him.”

Her eyes widened for a minute but she smiled slowly. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I like how this feels.”

“Me too.”

“Aight, dinner later. Let me work out the details and I’ll let you know when and where. Come lock up.”

As soon as I was in my car, I called Tali back. He’d texted after the race but didn’t call so I assumed it wasn’t an emergency.

“Damn, you just coming up for air. I’m glad my life wasn’t on the line.” I could tell he was dragging but also that I hadn’t awakened him.

“You know how to get my attention if it’s important.” I pulled up to the light, slouching lower in my seat. “And why the hell you up? This is early for you.”

“Doing a detailed back tattoo and she wanted to get started early.”

“What she getting?”

“Lotus flowers, chakras and shit down her spine. Full color and she wants most of it done today.”

I cringed at the thought. “That shit is going to be painful.”

“I tried to tell her. I wanted to do four visits. She wants to do it in two. Money is still the same so I don’t know what the rush is, but shit, if she’s down then I’ll get it done.”

I nodded and pulled away from the light. “What’s up though?”

“She’s a good look for you. Don’t fuck it up by getting in your own way.”

I laughed lightly. “You giving relationship advice?”

“I’m giving life advice. You’ve done your time, physically and emotionally. You’ve spent the past five years disconnected, punishing yourself for some shit you couldn’t control. That miserable ass space you’ve confined yourself to wasn’t going tochange the past. Life keeps moving. I fucking missed you. Your mother and Raiden missed you. Saniya makes you happy so don’t fuck that up. Let it be what it is.”

From the outside looking in, Tali wanting me there last night was superficial as fuck. Racing Saniya’s ex was personal. If you fucked with me, you fucked with him. That was how we operated but it was deeper. We were close, raised more like brothers than cousins, so Tali saying he missed me landed in a way that only I would understand.

“I hear you,” was all I said and he exhaled a sigh.

“Do you? Because I’m not sure you do. Five fucking years. You refused my visits, didn’t call, no contact, Grand. I know it’s not the same so believe me when I say I’m not trying to compare what you dealt with to how things were on my end but I did that time too. I lost you when you went inside and that shit hurt. Everybody lost something. You more than anyone else but we all had to deal with how things played out.”

My expression was tight as hell because I never considered the situation from their perspective. I was selfish but being selfish was what I needed to survive. “I fucked that up.”

“Yeah you did.” His voice was lighter. “But I’m not holding a grudge and you don’t need to hold onto shit either. Like I said, she’s a good look for you. Let her make you happy or I’ll let her make me happy. I saw the way she was checking for me after I embarrassed ol’ boy…”

“Don’t ruin a good moment, muthafucker.”

He laughed. “You know I’m fucking with you.”

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