Page 40 of Jacked and Jaded

“I’m sorry.” She stood from her seat, rubbing her forehead, her eyes closed. “I just can’t get past the part that you had sex with Zoey and got her pregnant.”

“I told you, it only happened once,” he growled, his temper starting to rise.

“Yes, I know, butfuckingmybest friendshouldneverhave happened!” She shoved everything off the counter, sending papers and a glass candy dish to the floor, causing it to shatter. “You knew I was in love with you! Why else would I have thrown myself at you?! Humiliated myself by pushing you to see me as something more than a little girl? Why do you think I left? Because the thought of seeing you with anyone else day after day was too damn much to handle!”

Jackson started edging his way around the island, getting closer to her with each step. She saw this and took equal steps to stay away from him. “Why, Jackson? Why did you have to fuck Zoey? You could have fucked anyone else and had a kid with them and it wouldn’t hurt as much as this hurts right now. Knowing she has a piece of you I’ll never have. Ever.” She smashed her fist into her chest above her heart, tears streaming down her face. “It hurts so damn bad knowing you gave that toher. Not me. And if you don’t get how bad that hurts, you’re fucked up. Now get out.”

“Calliope.”

“Get out!” she screamed. She couldn’t do this anymore.

“I am so sorry that it was her and not you, but there is nothing I can do to change things. I wouldn’t change things. I love Ryker too much to imagine my life without him.” He stopped when he saw that anymore steps backward for her would result in her stepping barefoot on the broken glass.

“I think you should go, Jackson. I need you to go. I can’t deal with this anymore.” She felt emotionally drained. She just wanted to climb into her bed, pull the covers over her head and sleep until the memory of what he’d done faded away. How does someone move on from something like that? She was trying so hard not to picture him doing the same things to Zoey’s body that he’d done to hers. That he didn’t respond to Zoey’s touch like he did to hers. That Zoey didn’t get to see the pure ecstasy that shone on his face as he reached his orgasm. If he didn’t leave soon, she might throw up on his boots.

“All right. I’ll go for now, but I’ll be back. You and me,” he waved his hand between the two of them. “This is happening. You are mine and I should’ve made you mine before you took off and moved away.”

Calliope turned her back on Jackson, wiping tears from her cheeks. Where the hell were all these damn tears coming from? Shouldn’t she be all out of them by now? Hearing the sound of the front door closing behind him, she ran to the bathroom and threw up. She flushed the toilet when she thought she was safe from doing it again, then brushed her teeth and splashed water on her face.

Still fueled by anger and hurt, she stormed down the hall to her bedroom and yanked down every picture on the wall. Somewhere it registered that she was making her side hurt. Fuck it. She didn’t care. She shoved all her trinkets and keepsakes off the top of her dresser since she moved here. She yanked her lamp from the wall and threw it at her mirror, enjoying the sound of breaking glass. It was an echo of how broken her heart felt. How did he think it was even possible for her to ever move past any of this?

12

Three days later, Calliope was still trying to put her room back together. After her mom came home and saw the destruction her bout of rage had caused after Jackson had come clean, she started to feel bad. Common sense told her that if she didn’t clean up the mess, she wouldn’t be able to sleep in her room that night. Her mom retrieved a large garbage bag and was going to clean up Calliope’s mess, but she stopped her.

“No, Mom. I got it. I made the mess, I’ll clean it up.” She took the bag from her mom and started picking up the trash she’d made out of almost everything in her room.

“Are you mad at me?” Even with her back turned to her mom, Calliope knew she’d have tears in her eyes. She could hear them in her mom’s voice.

“No, Mom, I’m not mad at you.” Lowering her trash bag to her side, she turned and asked, “Why didn’t you ever tell me Jackson had a son?”

“He made me promise not to.” Her mom stood in the doorway, wringing her hands together. “I didn’t want to keep it from you, but he said he wanted to be the one to tell you. He just never seemed to find the right time.”

Calliope couldn’t blame her mom. She was the kind of person that once she gave her word, she kept it. She dropped the half full bag and maneuvered her way through the debris to her mom. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her hard. “I love you, Mom. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad a Jackson and Zoey.”

After she’d gotten her room cleaned up, she’d sent Tom to the hardware store to buy new paint for the room. If she was ever going to redo it, now was the time. She was putting the last coat of sandstone gray on her walls, when she heard a knock on the door. She half expected it to be Jackson. He hadn’t tried to see her again since he came clean with her days ago. He had texted several times, despite her not responding.

Whoever it was, her mom and Chris could handle it. Secretly, she hoped it wasn’t Jackson because she still didn’t think she was ready to talk to him again. She knew she would have to at some point, because his text messages said as much. Thinking her mom was in the doorway, she leaned down and put the lid back on the paint can. “All done. Now, I just need to wait until it’s dried and we can move the new furniture in.”

“Looks good. I like the color.”

The sound of Zoey’s voice had Calliope jerking to stand, jarring her sore ribs. She sucked a deep breath and gritted her teeth to keep from gasping out loud. She didn’t think she was ready for this.

“We need to talk.”

“No. I don’t think that’s a very good idea. The time to talk was three years ago. When Jackson decided we needed to talk, I destroyed my room.” She waved her hand around the newly painted walls and the lack of furniture. “I really don’t want to have to paint again. Besides, I don’t want to get into this with Mom in the other room.” Calliope set about picking up the plastic drop cloths and wadding them up.

“Good thing she and Chris went to the store.” Zoey’s tone was clear and strong. Apparently, she’d come here to get down to it. “Maverick’s across the street sitting on the porch watching the house until they get back.”

At Calliope’s silence, Zoey spoke. “You can’t avoid me forever. We’re going to talk this out one way or the other.”

“Well, I don’t know, Zoey. You sure as hell made it easy to avoid me for the last three years. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t try to get you to visit me in the beginning. I finally gave up asking because I got tired of being turned down. Then, if I was lucky, you might see fit to respond to one of my many, many text messages. And not in one single one did you happen to throw out there that you were having a baby with the man I’ve been in love with forever.” She threw her hands up in the air. “My God, Zoey, you were supposed to be my best friend.”

“I am your best friend.”

“No. That’s where you’re wrong. A best friend doesn’t ignore you for years. A best friend doesn’t fuck the man you’re in love with. A best friend sure as fuck doesn’t get pregnant by the man you love. How could you? How could you do that to me? I loved you like a sister and the minute I leave town you jump into bed with Jackson? You knew how much I loved him. And you knew how much it hurt me when he said what we did was a mistake.” The last part was on a whisper, but Zoey heard her anyway.

Tears fell from Zoey’s eyes, true heartbreak reflected in their hazel depths. “I’m so, so sorry, Calliope, but I wouldn’t change a thing because I got Ryker.” She wiped at her cheeks. “I take that back, I would have told you I was pregnant as soon as I found out.” She paused then added, “Believe it or not, me and Jackson were a mistake. We never should have been together and we both knew it as soon as it was over. But we got something really terrific out of it.”

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