Page 93 of Something Borrowed

With shaking fingers I scroll through until I find Rufino’s number.

I don’t want this to be the last conversation I have with him.

I’ve been dreaming of hearing his voice for so long now. Sprawled out on the bed for hours imaging the conversation we would have when we see each other again. I wanted to hear him - and I’m about to get that wish - but thisisn’twhat I wanted.

I swallow hard and clear my throat. Pressing the phone against my ear when it rings.

“Put it on speaker you fucking idiot.” The guard kicks me in my thigh.

I wince and switch to the speaker. Holding the phone in front of me I can’t keep it steady.

All the men are watching me. Their eyes stabbing into me like thousands of needles.

“Luca.” Rufino’s voice sinks into my mind like honey. Rich and dark and raw.

I can’t speak. I can’t find my voice. How am I going to do this?

The guard kicks me again and I bite down.

There is no way out of this. My father’s actions have made it clear. If you don’t do this, you will be beaten to death.

“It’s Verity.” I whisper.

“Little vixen.” “Are you ok? I’ve been searching for you. Every moment of every day. I haven’t stopped looking.”

My father nods towards me. The guard presses his gun against my head.

“You can stop looking, Rufino.” I sigh.

“What?” He sounds confused. I don’t blame him. “Why would I stop looking?”

“Because I’m over it. I’m - bored. Or whatever.” I do my best to sound sincere, to not let the tears creep through in my voice, but they are there. Choking my words.

“I don’t believe you.” He snarls. The edge of darkness on his voice is deep.

“You should believe me. Did you really think that someone like you could keep a girl like me? I’m too good for you. You would never have been able to keep up with me, anyway.”

I squeeze my eyes shut trying to deny my own words. I want to push my silent thoughts through the phone so that he can feel the truth in my heart instead of the bullshit I’m saying out loud. My hand shakes even more.

“Verity don’t do this.” He warns me. “Don’t give up on us.”

“There never was anus, Rufino. And there never will be. Stop whatever you are doing to find me. Give up. Let go. Move on with your life.”

A sob escapes my lips, and the guard nudges his foot against my side. A warning. I’m slipping up.

My father gestures with his eyes towards the phone and mouths the words “Convince him, stupid girl.”

But I’m crying too hard now and when I speak the pain in my voice is impossible to hide. What am I doing? I’m risking everything. I’m going to lose him forever.

I’d rather die than be without him.

The threats my father is weighing onto me mean nothing compared to the idea of being without Rufino.

“Red, I love you.” I scream into the phone. “I love you, please find me.”

“Grab the phone.” My father screams and the guard kicks it out of my hand. It slides across the floor, skidding under the bed. One guard drops to his knees, scrambling to get it. Rufino is yelling, but I can’t hear what he’s saying.

“You stupid fucking bitch, I wish you had died with your mother.” My father’s words don’t even hurt because I feel nothing for him.

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