Page 89 of Petite Fleur

Chapter 34

Maeve Henderson

When I wake up, I'm actually feeling a lot better.

I'm still dealing with some cramps, and my joints are still sore, but I'm feeling good enough that I don't want to lay with Leon anymore.

I can't trust him right now; the lingering pain in my joints is a reminder of that.

I sit up to go back to bed, but I stop when I see that he's stripped some of his clothes off. It isn't the clothes that surprise me; this man has tackled me and had sex with me in the yard, I don't think partial nudity is a problem anymore.

No, it's his leg that surprises me.

One of his legs is missing shortly after his knee.

There's a metal rod sticking out of the skin that's heavily bruised and angry-looking. I don't even mean to be staring; I just didn't expect that. I guess that makes sense as to why he was wincing when he got up from the ground.

"I was 14." Leon says.

I slightly jolt, not even realizing that I was so obviously staring that he had to explain himself.

In a way, I like that he isn't perfect. It humanizes him a bit.

When I think of Leon, I think of how strong, powerful, charismatic, charming, smooth, and handsome he is. The fact that he also has money and is clearly smart just makes him even more intimidating; finding a flaw makes me feel like he's an actual person.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly. I can't believe I was rude enough to stare. I know how it feels to be stared at. I get enough dirty looks when I have to be so strict about cross-contamination; don't even make me start on the eye rolls and glares that I get when I tell anyone that I'm also vegan.

People look at it like it's a bad word, like not wanting to eat animal products is somehow a sin.

I don't judge anyone on how they want to eat; I just don't want to contribute to the suffering of defenseless animals.

So, I'm looked at like a freak show attraction. I'd never want someone to think that I looked at them how others look at me. It makes me feel sick even to think that Leon might believe that or that he might have worried I was judging him.

I am for a lot of things, but not this.

"It's fine. It was a long time ago." Leon says to me. I feel his arms band around me, and as upset as I am with him and myself for last night, I find myself not moving out of his embrace. I'm going to tell myself it's because he helped me to feel better and that he's vulnerable right now, but really, it kind of feels right. I hate that it feels right.

I may not have had much of a life before this, but I was free. I wasn't wearing a dog collar and my food wasn't basically poisonous to me.

"Why is it so irritated if it happened so long ago?" I ask curiously, hoping I'm not overstepping by asking.

Leon sighs, and I feel his arms slightly tighten around me as if he thinks that his answer is going to make me mad. "I'm not supposed to wear my leg all the time, but I didn't want to risk you running again and getting hurt when I couldn't chase after you." He tells me.

I feel his warm lips on the side of my face, right on my temple, and I have to resist the urge to lean into him. "I just don't want you to get hurt. If you run past the perimeter, it will shock you; if I don't have my leg on, I can't chase after you and pull you back before you're hurt." He adds in.

"Then take it off..." I plead with him. I don't want to be wearing this collar.

I feel like a caged animal in this thing. It makes me even happier with my decision not to eat animal products because if this is how they feel before their slaughter, I can't support that.

This is terrifying, this is humiliating.

I don't feel like a person with this collar on; I feel less than human.

I want to cry every time I touch this collar; it's a constant reminder that I no longer have bodily autonomy and that I am an object that Leon possesses. I feel like I have the same value as a toaster. Or maybe more like one of those handheld objects guys can stick their cocks into and have sex with.

That one feels more accurate since I am basically here to be used whenever he wants me.

I still don't understand why I'm here, but seeing as how he refuses to use protection, I would assume he's using me to start a family. It's embarrassing, and part of me hopes that he lets me go if he makes me give him a baby.

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