Page 16 of Forcing Her Hand

“Why do you have to be so perfect?” she wailed against his chest. A thin bubble of ironic laughter rippled through him.

“I could say the same to you,” he said gently as he released her.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she said again, wiping her tears from her face. Gulping air, she tried to slow her breathing and get herself back under control. Roger’s expression was full of regret and disappointment she’d put there, but it reaffirmed her decision. Holding onto him longer would have been so unfair. “I wish… I wanted it to work. I really did.”

“So, did I.” Kissing her forehead, he turned to go, giving her one last sweet smile before shutting the door behind him.

Allison burst into tears again.

Fortunately, it didn’t take Diana long to get home after Allison texted her. Telling her friend about Roger’s kindness, his understanding, made Allison cry all over again as Diana held her. Cocktails and dancing were put on the back burner. Fortunately, they had vodka and cranberry juice in the fridge for Allison to drink while they picked out chick flicks—definitely needed more than one—and ordered Chinese food.

Talking to Diana helped a lot. Allison couldn’t help her feelings, and she’d done the right thing—the two thoughts she hung on to that kept her from feeling like a wicked person. She still felt guilty for hanging on to Roger as long as she had. She should have broken up with him a while ago, but she’d wanted to try to make it work so badly.

Well, she wouldn’t make that mistake again.

5

The last couple of weeks before school started, trickled by, then to Allison’s relief, time sped up again. Her parents were unhappy with her for breaking up with Roger, but not entirely surprised, either. In fact, her mother made several caustic remarks during Labor Day weekend about Allison’s inability to hold down a stable relationship. Daddy didn’t say anything, but Allison could tell he was displeased, especially once school started, and her schedule became much more demanding. For her part, she was grateful for the new pace, much busier than summer. Between work, classes, and homework, she didn’t have much time to visit with her parents and had plenty of excuses for turning down any dates.

A few of them came from Todd’s frat brothers, guys she’d seen and had sex with at the gang bang he’d arranged—definitely not interested. The very sight of them just reminded her of Todd and the way he’d fulfilled her fantasies, opening her up to so many new experiences.

The entire fall semester was like living in a dream world on automatic. There were plenty of moments she had fun. Diana had come along to a happy hour Allison had gone to with Linda, Clara, and Sally, and the five of them had started spending more time together. It was nice to have other women friends. Allison had completely lost touch with her supposed “best friend,” Chrissy. She’d stopped calling Chrissy, getting tired of listening to the girl’s long vents and realizing she created a lot of drama herself. Once she’d stopped calling her former best friend, she realized Chrissy rarely called her, anyway. Since Allison wasn’t instigating the phone calls, none ever happened.

Slowly, Allison was coming to accept Todd wasn’t going to come back to see her again. He’d probably forgotten about her, but she found it impossible to forget about him. Maybe if she could find a guy, she was truly interested in dating, but Prince Charming never materialized. During a family dinner, her father informed her that Roger had been seen dating Veronica Adams, a snobby socialite Allison didn’t particularly like, but she wished Roger well and hoped he was happy.

For the most part, she didn’t miss having a boyfriend. She had her friends, her toys, and her fantasies.

There was plenty to amuse her around the house, too. Chad was staying over more often, which was nice because she found she truly enjoyed his company, and they’d become good friends. He was over often enough, she didn’t think about Todd every time she saw him anymore. Obviously, she’d become accustomed to his presence. Things had taken an interesting turn with him and Diana. Apparently, she’d talked him into letting her try putting a butt plug in him, and he liked it.

Drunken girl talk had eventually led to Diana admitting she was trying out a lot of new stuff with Chad—bondage, domination, and submission—but Diana was on top, a dynamic that fascinated Allison and, at the same time, did absolutely nothing for her sexually. Although seeing Chad’s waddle around the apartment after a night with Diana caused Allison some amusement, she was jealous of the blissfully happy look on his face.

Still, the two of them weren’t serious. Allison had the suspicion deep down, Diana didn’t want to be the one in control, and it had just been happenstance they’d found out that Chad didn’t either. While she seemed to enjoy Chad’s company and sex with Chad, it didn’t seem to deepen their relationship. They were both still dating other people.

So, maybe no one was getting what they wanted.

The package came a few days before Christmas with a message written on the outside of the box in scrawling print.

* * *

Merry Christmas, Princess.

Your Secret Admirer

* * *

Todd. It had to be Todd. Allison’s hands shook as she opened the box, wondering what he could have sent her. She almost laughed when she finally got it open and saw the sex toys, but her heart sank a little. Of course, sex—nothing to do with her personally—but it was still a present from him.

The first was obviously a vibrator. It was glossy silver but looked to be very high tech with an awful lot of buttons and dials on a box attached to it by a wire. Looking over the instructions, she saw it had ten speeds of vibration, could twirl inside her, pulse, vibrate rapidly, and also had little pearls at the bottom that could travel along the outside of the vibrator. There was also a little hummingbird sticking out of the top for her clit. Just looking at the very expensive instrument of pleasure made her body tingle with excitement.

There were also two suction cup thingies with tubes connecting them and a little squeeze ball. On top of each suction cup was a little bullet vibrator attached to it. The box for these said squeezing the ball while the suction cups were over her nipples would make a vacuum inside the cups, and the suction could be pleasurable or painful, depending on how many times you squeezed the ball. Just handling the toy made her nipples hard with anticipation.

The last toy in the box was an anal probe, eight inches long and two inches in diameter, covered with ridges, and was also a vibrator. All the batteries needed were packed inside the box.

At the very bottom of the box was a framed photo, wrapped in Christmas paper covered with penguins wearing little Santa hats. For a moment, she debated waiting until Christmas to open it or just throwing the entire box away. Curiosity won, and she pulled the paper off of the frame. It had four photos, vertically going in a line from top to bottom, four-by-six black and whites. The middle two were obviously taken when she was sleeping, her curls scattered across the pillow, the softness of her lips and face curving with a satisfied smile. The other two were of her and Todd at the restaurant he’d taken her to on their first and last “dates.” In the one at the top, he looked smug, and she looked pissed, definitely from their first date. In the one on the bottom, the way they were looking at each other was filled with emotion—caring. They looked like a real couple, one deeply…

Crap. Allison dropped the frame and ran to get some tissues. Could she really keep this? Seeing the evidence of their emotions? Of the changes that had overcome her during their time together?

Why had he sent it? To remind her? Because he thought she was still seeing someone else and was jealous? To torture her?

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