Page 44 of The Road Sometimes Taken

“Well thank you, kind sir. Did you get your milk in yours?” Manny has a perfect ratio to the way he likes to take his coffee. A shit ton of the darkest roast you can find and slowly poured cold milk into it. It’s so bizarre the way he takes it, so I’m always wondering if when he goes to order coffee, he explains exactly how he likes it.

“Nah, but a latte is the closest thing, you know?” he replies, grabbing my suitcase and walking toward the elevator.

“I can carry my own suitcase,” I insist, trying to reclaim a bit of independence and my bearings. I underestimated how much he would affect me after last night and what I just did in my room at the thought of him.

“Do I need to say it again?” Manny’s tone is firm yet playful, leaving the rest of the statement hanging like an unfinished thought. I don’t mind his chivalry—there’s something comforting about being around someone who genuinely cares about my well-being. But I also feel the weight of my thoughts—the fine line between allowing him to be a gentleman and fearing that I might never find someone who truly wants to be this way with me. Finding someonewho will let me make the calls on how I want to spend my time and what I want to be doing together instead of whathewants to do all the time. Someone who knows Icando hard things but who still wants to make my life easier, even if just by bringing me afternoon coffee or dragging my suitcase down to the bus.

I’d been with plenty of men over the years, especially during those breaks between Cole. I’d focused so much on having fun and enjoying life that dating had taken a backseat. Casual encounters filled the gaps, but they never lasted. I sabotaged myself, always searching for something serious while convincing myself I was okay with something fleeting. It was a cycle that had gone on for a decade, with both of us drifting in and out of each other’s lives like the tide, never quite finding solid ground. But I want solid ground; I just thought Cole was going to give it to me someday.

Allie and Roe often remind me that I’m too good for him. I made excuses for his behavior in my mind, convincing myself I didn’t deserve better or thathewas the best I would ever get. Maybe I’m not mature enough or I’m too volatile. But deep down, I know there are others out there searching for someone like me, someone to settle down with. Yet, here I am, feeling like just one of the “bros,” destined to remain alone forever.

As the elevator doors slide open, I take a deep breath, determined to shake off the heavy thoughts and enjoy the rest of this trip. I just have to remind myself that I am worth more than the cycles I keep repeating and thatmysomeone is out there. Even if I haven’t found him yet. I don’t want to waste more moments without turning them into memories. In the meantime, I’ll keep pretending nothing happened with Manny and maybe the feeling that that person might be him will go away.

1 a little coffee for you

22

YOU CAN BE RAIN

LET EM GO, MATT HANSEN

Manny

Stop 10:Nashville, Tennessee

We’re stuck in traffic.We’ve been stuck in traffic for the past two hours. We ate everything we had and now we’re counting the minutes until we get to Nashville. Cara took a nap at some point but now she’s restless in the passenger seat. She’s moving, reading, singing, dancing, and everything in between. She has gotten calls from what feels like all of BakerOaks. Some on FaceTime, some voice messages, and some calls. She talked to Allie, Roe, and Natalie for what felt like an eternity and they just kept going back and forth calling each other names for not being in Nashville together. It was both amusing and disturbing. As soon as she hung up the phone with them, Cara’s easy smile turned sour as she whispered to me how much she wished they were here with her.

I, on the other hand, turned off my phone. Not having signal on my phone for a day back in Kentucky and completely forgetting about work while I spent time with her on the Bourbon Trail had me itching for more time disconnected from everything. I texted Gus to let him know, and I’m hoping for the best. He said, ‘fucking finally’ and that was it. If Zabana Enterprises is truly well-run, then it can survive a few days without me checking in. Or at least I hope so.

The view entering Tennessee shifted seamlessly from flat land to now a tapestry of green hills and forested areas, giving way to the urban sprawl as we approach the city. The closer we get to Nashville, the more buildings and traffic we encounter. Other than GPS indicating we’re close, the cityscape with the skylines and tall buildings emerge on the horizon. Cara gets another call, and after the loud ringtone, she answers with a perky hello.

“My girl,” the deep voice on the phone says and Cara’s whole face lights up. ¿Quién coño le dicemygirl??1 Tightening my hands on the steering wheel, I wait for her to continue the conversation because the irrational side of my brain is going full Neanderthal with uncalled jealousy right now.

“Alex! Very soon you won’t be able to call meyour girlanymore, big guy,” she replies, stillsmiling at the phone.

“You’ll always be my girl, Carabear. Livie’s fine with that, right baby?”

“One hundred percent! I don’t want that title. Calling me Liv, and soon enough calling me your wife, is enough for me. Cara earned her title dealing with all of you stupid asses,” a girl says in between laughs.

“How’s the wedding coming along? Next week you guys will say forever. I’m pumped for you both,” Cara says softly. You can hear the pride in her voice as she shares those words.

I continue driving, pretending I’m not overly aware of their conversation. Instead I take notice of the contrast between the natural beauty of the countryside and the city as we make an entrance into the heart of Nashville.

“It’s going well, I think. Livie and her parents have done most of it. I was only given a few tasks and that’s why I’m calling, actually,” this guy Alex says. “Two things—I need to confirm if you’ll have a plus one, and…,” he pauses, “Cole and Tasha are coming together for the wedding. I know you and everyone knows they’re together but I wanted to give you a heads up. We already shifted tables so at least you won’t be sitting together. I’m sorry, girl.”

“Don’t be sorry, Alex. You have nothing to apologize for,” Cara insists but her once-cheerful voice now sounds down, almost eerie. I look her way and she forces a smile. It doesn’t reach her eyes but she continues talking. “They’re both your friends, I would feel weird if you didn’t invite them.” She’s reassuring him but her whole demeanor has changed. Her smile is smaller. Her shoulders sag. Her light is dimmer.

“I’m sorry, this whole situation is so shitty. He was so shitty to you and I’m sorry.”

“Again, not your fault. Itisshitty but there’s not much we can do. Your friendship means more to me than being uncomfortable around them.”

“I don’t know what we did to deserve your friendship but thanks for not making this whole thing harder,” he says and her face softens for the first time since he brought up that jerk. “What about the plus one?”

“Just me and my big personality,” Cara replies. I watch her eyes, careful not to crash this bus into another car and when she finds mine, I point at her phone and mouthmute it, hoping she understands.

Her eyebrows frown but she looks back down and says, “Give me a sec, Alex.” She taps her phone and looks at me before asking sharply, “What?!”

“I can go with you to the wedding,” I offer, turning left on the road as the GPS tells me to.

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