Page 77 of Wild Nights

Carolina: I miss you and Joey. I had a wonderful time being snowed in with you guys.

Oliver: Me too.

What else was there to say? I wish you could have stayed? What good did it do now? She was there, and I was here. We'd made our choices. There was no turning back.

Oliver: Good luck with your father tomorrow.

Carolina: I feel good about it. It's the right thing to do.

Carolina had things to do with her family, necessary things. She wouldn't have stayed in Telluride anyway.

Oliver: Have a good Christmas Eve.

Carolina: You too, Oliver.

Why did that text feel final? Did she not want to talk anymore? Was it too hard for her? Or had she not felt the same way and was ready to move on? I wouldn't know unless I asked, but it was late, and she was probably tired. Besides, wouldn't she have said something? I like to think if she had said she loved me, that I would have responded in kind. It was like I was waiting for a sign from her, but I never got one.

I let my head fall back to the pillow. It was too late now. My mind was filled with all the things I needed to do tomorrow. Except I felt empty without Carolina here. She would have loved to meet my parents. She would have loved our large family Christmas. And I wanted to give her that.

But it was too late now.

I might never know what-if because I hadn't told her how I felt. The confusing mix of emotions I was experiencing. The practical, logical side of my brain couldn't get past our geographical distance. I couldn't ask her to leave her family.

I hoped her mother and sister came through for her and her dad wasn't a total asshole. I didn't want her to be lonely or hurting. It killed me when I thought about her being alone ona holiday that she loved so much. She wanted to be surrounded by family and enjoying traditions. It was a simple request. Exactly what I wanted from a partner. An appreciation of the little things, wanting to share a life together, and enjoying the season.

But I hadn't told her any of those things. I wasn't sure if it would have made a difference. Would she have left if I asked her to stay? My stomach tightened. I wished I would have said something, anything to let her know how I was feeling, even if it was the confusing mix.

I hadn't even said I'd see her in April. What was she thinking? That I didn't care about her? That our time together hadn't meant anything? But was that something I could even say in a text?

I tossed and turned all night, finally falling asleep close to dawn. Then Joey was up and excited for the arrival of his grandparents and his favorite uncle, Killian.

I had to focus on him and making this a good Christmas. I was always worried he'd ask about Tina and why she didn't seem interested in spending the holiday with him.

Chapter Twenty-Two

CAROLINA

When I woke up, I found myself rereading my text exchange with Oliver. It was bittersweet. I told him what a nice time I'd had and that it was good to be home, because in a way it was. I needed to deal with my family and heal from my childhood issues before I could move on with someone else.

Oliver and Joey deserved to be with someone who was healed and whole. But I wasn't even sure Oliver wanted me. He hadn't said anything. There was nothing in our text exchange to indicate he wanted more than our few nights and days together.

The unknown was driving me crazy when I should have been focused on my family. It was weird being at the house with Ginny's room cleared out. I was somewhat used to her keys being absent from the hook by the door, her car not being in the driveway. But now, there was no sign of her. She'd taken everything that was hers, which included a couple of side tables in the living room and lamps.

It felt sad and lonely to be here without her. But what did I expect? That my sister would be my roommate forever, and we'd grow old together?

I forced myself to get up, shower, and get dressed. Then I made myself coffee, and a snack before heading to the restaurant to meet my dad.

He was married now to one of his former students, not the one that he left my mom for but another one. I'd never met her officially, only seen her with him walking in town or at the grocery store. I always walked in the other direction when I saw them, and Dad knew not to approach me. So I wasn't expecting him to show up with his wife.

But I suppose I would have been okay with it. It was past time to move on and get over the way things went down. I realized I had some resentment toward my dad for what he left me to deal with.

When I walked into the small breakfast restaurant in town, Dad was already seated at a booth. He stood when I approached.

My heart was beating hard. "It's good to see you."

He waited for me to sit before he did the same.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" the waitress asked, taking the pressure off of me for a second.

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