Page 76 of Wild Nights

"What are you talking about?"

Marcus sighed once we were in the kitchen and slowly turned to face me. "My wife. I let her walk out of my life. I didn't fight for her."

I knew he'd recently gotten divorced, but I thought it was mutual. "You didn't want to let her go?"

"It's what she wanted. She said I didn't pay attention to her or listen to what she had to say. But it was hard for me, and I didn't ask for help or agree to go to counseling. I'm not good at the emotional stuff, and I assume you aren't either. But take it from me, if you don't get in touch with what's going on in here"—he tapped my chest over my heart—"You're going to regret it."

I already regretted letting her go. I just didn't think I had the right to ask her to stay.

"Think about it," Marcus said as he gathered the ingredients for dinner. I stuck around to help since Joey was outside with Xander and I didn't want to wallow about Carolina.

Had I made a huge mistake in letting her go? Should I have told her how I felt when she was here? Had she felt the same way? I enjoyed her company. I liked her. But was it love? I wasn't sure. It sure felt like the beginning of a relationship. But we were doomed from the start. There was no way we could have worked out logistically. Right?

I made myself useful in the kitchen. Then after dinner, I left Joey to watch a movie with his uncle while I prepared the upstairs rooms for my family. We had a skeleton crew that I was letting go now that the storm was over.

For the next few days, it would just be us here. I loved this time of the year, when it was only family in the lodge. But this year, it didn't hold the same appeal. It felt like something was missing. Every once in a while, I'd pause putting sheets on a bed and press the area over my heart. There was a stabbing pain I couldn't seem to get rid of.

At bed time, I encouraged Joey to take a bath, then tucked him into bed. "I'm going to miss Caro."

"Me too, buddy."

His lower lip protruded. "You should have asked her to stay."

"Why do you say that?"

"That's what Marcus said."

My chest tightened. "He shouldn't have said that."

"But he's right. We all liked her."

"Her family is in Maine. Ours is here. It wouldn't have been fair to ask her to stay." Why was I having a relationship conversation with my son?"

"If you love each other?—"

"Caro was a friend." Except the nights we spent together weren't friendly. It felt like so much more, like the beginning of something beautiful. The pain in my chest was sharper now.

"I want her here."

"That's not how it works, bud. She has a life in Maine.She'll visit in April." Maybe. I wasn't so sure anymore after talking to Marcus.

We were new. Neither of us planned for anything to happen. It was supposed to be light and fun. But I let my feelings get involved, and now it was a tangled mess. I was mixed-up and confused. But I had my family visiting. I'd think about it after the holidays.

I kissed him on the forehead and turned out his light, leaving his door slightly ajar. Then I went to my bedroom. It was weird being here alone after last night when we'd fooled around on the couch and slept together. It had been intimate and cozy, a glimpse into what could be possible for us.

Was it crazy to think we could work something out? That our lives could converge?

I wanted to make sure she got home okay, so I texted her when I was in bed.

Oliver: Are you home?

She sent me an image of her feet kicked up in front of a fire.

Carolina: Home sweet home.

Oliver: I bet you're happy to be in your own house.

I wasn't sure why I said that. It wasn't how I felt. Was I fishing for something from her? A sign that she felt the same loss I did? Was she also wondering what if?

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