Page 112 of Bloom: Part 2

Dr. Simms was confidential. At least he was supposed to be. He couldn’t tell anyone what Logan and I were planning to do. He seemed like the perfect person to talk to. To help me come to terms with becoming just an ordinary guy when I’d been anything but all my life.

It felt strange being here without Logan. He didn’t even know I’d come. That alone felt like some kind of betrayal, but I needed to do this—for myself, for us. I didn’t want to burden him with how anxious I was about our move. I’d never lived in a new country, never even been on an airplane. What if I didn’t like it there? What if I wanted to come home?

The door opened, and Dr. Simms walked in, looking more casual than I’d ever seen him. He was wearing dark blue jeans with a forest-green turtleneck sweater and trainers. His salt-and-pepper hair was a little more disheveled than usual, as if he’d been in a haste to arrive in time, which was probably the case, given the way he was huffing.

“Bloom, you’re really here.” He smiled.

Huh? I’d called to book the appointment, and his assistant had called me back with the good news that Dr. Simms would see me despite not being due at his office until one. Why did he seem surprised to see me?

An awkward silence hung in the air, but then Dr. Simms cleared his throat. “Right, err, just give me a minute, and we’ll get started.”

He walked over to a file cabinet, rummaged through the drawers with his back to me, and pulled out a folder.

“Do you mind if I record today’s session?”

I frowned. The last time he hadn’t asked. Logan had been pissed about that.

“I’d rather not.”

“Okay, that’s fine. It’s all up to you, of course.” He scanned through his folder and settled into the chair opposite me.

“I have to say I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” he said softly. “I can’t tell you how pleased I was when Lisa told me you wanted to see me.”

“I have a lot on my mind.”

“After our last session, I bet you do. Where’s Dr. Collier? I didn’t see him.”

“He doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Oh.” He leaned back in his chair, the heel of his right leg resting on his left thigh. “And why is that?”

“He would have suspected what I wanted to talk to you about, and I can’t let him know that I have doubts.”

“About your marriage?”

I shook my head quickly. “No, not about that. I want to marry Logan and be his.”

“Bloom, you know another person can’t own you, right?”

“I don’t mind. I want him to own me. If I could tattoo his name on my soul, I would. I don’t expect you to understand, but Logan gets it.”

Dr. Simms pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know you won’t like to hear me say this, but as your psychiatrist, I have to say it anyway. I’m concerned about your notion of what a relationship is supposed to be and how this might be affecting your mental health.”

“My relationship with Logan has been the best thing for my mental health. Why can’t you understand that?”

“Because what you have is unhealthy, and if he wasn’t being selfish, he would also tell you this. I don’t blame you. You’re the innocent one in all of this. Dr. Collier, on the other hand, knows fully well—”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have come.” I clutched the arms of the chair.

“Or you can tell me why you called.”

I hated how he criticized Logan and dismissed our relationship, but he had a point. I had come to him for a reason.

“You said whatever I tell you will have to be confidential, right? You can’t report it to the police.”

“Unless it can prevent someone from getting hurt.”

“I killed my parents years ago,” I blurted out. For the first time, I told him. I didn’t know what to expect but not his silence. I’d alluded to my hurting my parents in our sessions but never talked about what had happened. “Before you try to reassure me, I don’t regret it, especially not after everything I remembered during our last session.”

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