Page 113 of Bloom: Part 2

“I had a feeling you would still be reeling from the discoveries of the depth of your abuse. After all, we uncovered some very difficult memories. It’s okay if you’re still processing that. In fact, it’s normal. Have you been having nightmares again?”

“Yes, but I want to talk about the people I’ve killed.”

“All right. Why did you kill them?”

“They were all bad people. Like the US Marshal who wanted to hurt Logan. I had to kill him too, but can you blame me?”

Dr. Simms leaned forward. “How do you feel when you take someone’s life?”

“Like I erased a huge problem.”

“Can you describe in detail what happened with the US Marshal?”

Was knowing all the details really that important? I shrugged. “I blacked out during some of it. By then, he’d made me too angry.”

“Did it feel good?”

“Yes.”

“Because you were able to control the situation, unlike when you were a young boy?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. That’s not why I came today.”

“Bloom,” he said, his tone soft and measured. “What happened to you as a child—”

“Can we not?” I interrupted, sharper than I’d intended. “I’m not here to rehash that.”

He uncrossed his legs. “Then whatareyou here to talk about?”

I looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time since I sat down. He was trying; I could see that. But I was tired of people trying to fix what couldn’t be fixed. “I’ve killed many people,” I said, my voice flat, as if I were commenting on the weather. “My parents and the marshal were just a couple.”

Dr. Simms tapped his pen against his knees. “Why don’t you tell me about the first person you killed? Your parents, I presume?”

“Yeah, but I don’t remember any of it. Just how hungry I was. I don’t think they’d fed me for days. They often did that.”

The silence in the room was suffocating. Dr. Simms opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Bloom… why are you telling me all this now?”

“Because I want you to tell me it will be okay.” I tugged on my hair, running my fingers through the strands. “That this will be the opportunity to start over and be somebody else—not the guy who’s killed so many people. Is that something I can hope for?”

Dr. Simms furrowed his brows in a mix of concern and surprise. It took him a moment before he replied. “Bloom, nobody can change your past. It’s there. It happened. But the future… that’s something you still have control over. You may not be able to forget it, but you can make better choices moving forward.”

“Then it’ll be all right.” Fuck, I hated the ache in my chest, the horrible bit of darkness in my stomach at the thought of leaving everything that was familiar to me.

“What will? I have a feeling I am missing something here.”

“Logan and I have to move away.”

“What?”

“No one can know,” I said. “But Logan’s family is after him, and to escape and keep everyone safe, we’re leaving the country and cutting ties with everyone. Logan says it’s for the best.”

“Absolutely not!” Dr. Simms jumped to his feet, his face flaming red. “Think about everything you would be forced to give up if you do that. He has no right to expect this from you.”

“He gave me a choice. I’ve decided to go with him.”

“But you don’t really want to. That’s why you are here. You’ll be making the biggest mistake of your life if you go through with this.”

Just as I feared, but why did hearing him say it feel so much worse?

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