Page 108 of Bloom: Part 1

“What does he have to do with anything?”

“You just admitted you didn’t care for me. You felt rejected by Crowe, and that’s the reason you came after me. How many times did I reject you but you insisted on being with me? Each time you came around, you wedged yourself more and more into my life until I started caring for you.”

“But isn’t that a good thing?”

“Except I’m not the one you really want. If Crowe and Max broke up right now, you would get your first choice. You wouldn’t need me at all.”

“But that’s not true.” I dragged myself over and straddled his lap. Why didn’t he understand what I was trying to tell him? “I love you now.”

“Do you? Or will you later find out you’re only with me for some other reason again?”

“There’s no other reason. I’m being honest with you. Why are you taking it so badly?”

“No man wants to know they’re second best, just a replacement,” Logan spat, his voice tight with accusation.

“But that’s not how I feel anymore.” Fuck. I was losing him. His body vibrated with anger. I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

“Bloom, let go.”

“No.”

“I can’t think when you’re on me like this.”

“Then don’t think. Just listen. Yeah, I might have gotten involved with you for all the wrong reasons, but that’s not why I’m with you now.”

“Why are you?”

“For one, you’re everything that I am not. You’re good and care about people who don’t matter. You save lives while I take them, and I’m drawn to that. You took care of me even when you were pushing me away. When you were being mean, you still ensured I was okay.” I placed a kiss on the side of his neck. “While I can’t fully explain it, I know it’s real. I love being with you, Logan. You make me happy, and I don’t think I’ve ever truly been happy, even with Crowe and my other brothers. I lived because they saved me, but the way I feel about you in here.” I took his hand and placed it over my thudding heart. “This is something new, and it only beats this way for you. My head’s all kind of messed up, Logan. I can’t trust it. My heart was too until you fixed it by caring for me despite me annoying the hell out of you.”

I let out a shaky breath, praying he would understand. That he would see beyond my misguided intentions at the start and accept the way I felt about him now. His silence was nerve-racking. I tightened my hand on his. “Logan, I didn’t have to say anything, but I never want to lie to you. Do you hate me now?”

Slowly he placed his hand over mine. His grip was tight, but he didn’t utter a word.

“Logan, forgive me.” I squirmed closer on his lap. “I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me. It makes me sad.”

“Bloom, I’m not mad at you.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m a little hurt, but in some way, this is also my fault. I always knew your feelings for me weren’t real. At least I should have known, but I got sucked into having you around all the time. When I didn’t see you for a day, I missed you, wondering if you were taking care of yourself or being reckless again. It was my fault for-for caring for you, even though I knew your feelings weren’t genuine.”

“But they’re genuine now. Isn’t that all that matters?”

“I need to think, but now’s not the time. Let’s concentrate on getting out of here first. We should move soon. The longer we stay here, the riskier it is.”

“But, Logan—”

“Bloom.”

He didn’t say anything else. Just my name and it shut me up, even though I wanted to continue arguing until he gave in and told me he didn’t care about how we ended up together. At least he didn’t tell me to get off him. I could bear anything but that.

“Get some sleep.” He tugged my head forward to rest on his chest. “I’ll keep watch in case we hear anything.”

“No, you sleep first. You never talk about it, but I know I keep you from getting a good night’s sleep.”

“All right, but don’t do anything rash. At the first sign of trouble, wake me up.”

Only if I need to.

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